Happy Wednesday Scribblers, how’s everyone doing? I hope this post finds you all in good spirits and having a wonderful week. As you may have noticed there was no blog post last week. There was a lot going on, and I ran out of time. So, instead of slapping something together, I took the week off. This week I wanted to talk to you and share some thoughts. I hope that’s okay.
It’s been strange for all of us now that life, and the world, seems to returning to some kind of new normal I feel like the flowers in our back garden, like I’m coming to life again. Over the last couple of weekends, we’ve seen some dear friends who we haven’t seen since COVID-19 started. Seeing them and hugging and chatting and being together felt amazing and I believe the togetherness did wonders for my mental health. You don’t realize how much you miss people until you see them again. We all found that by the end of the night, none of us wanted to say goodbye. That sensation is going to be, I guess, the way we all feel for a long while, because before the ‘rona’ we took spending time with friends and family for granted. We always believed there would be a ‘next time’, or a ‘see ya real soon’, but then in March 2020 that didn’t happen. Everything closed and our lives and our world such down.
To me, the sensation felt like dying. Weird, right?
How strange to think back on those first few weeks and remember who nervous and scared everyone was. You didn’t know who would get it, how bad it would be, if you would make it. Were you going to be next? Were you going to be another number on the nightly news?
Now fourteen months later we can see our family and friends again. We can eat out, go to the movies, go to concerts, museums, sporting events, all those things that were taken from us, by a virus that we can’t even see, but can feel the effects of.
Yes, people are still getting sick. Yes, people are still dying. We aren’t out of this yet, but we are close, the like the flowers in our back garden they along with the rest of us are blooming.
And now, here we are.
What a great feeling. Right?
I don’t know. Parts of me feel empty, damaged, sad, not about what happened over the last fourteen months but for what we lost during that time, time we’ll never get back. Time away from dear family and friends. Moments we are going to be missing for the rest of our lives.
Again, everything we’ve been through reminds me of when someone passes on. The time is gone, the future moments have vanished and the ‘see ya real soons’ are no more.
This month is June, and that means we are amid Pride and these last few days I find my thoughts falling on all the LGBTQIA family we’ve lost, not because of this pandemic, but because of violence, bigotry, hatred, and another pandemic that wiped out a generation of people. For those of us, over a certain age, we remember AIDS in the early days and what it did to a community of people that everyone felt were disposable and worthless. There was a time when no one cared, and still many don’t. So, many people died (as of 2018; 700,000 people have died of Aids in the US alone).
I spent several years working as a volunteer here in Santa Clara County with persons with HIV. I did nothing extraordinary: I helped plan social activities, and I volunteered as a ‘buddy’ for people who had HIV or full-blown AIDS. During that time, I went to several funerals and said last goodbyes to some amazing folks. Some of these wonderful folks were my age, a few older. Being a volunteer was rewarding and difficult and affected me greatly. I never really understood how so many people could die of some awful decease that so few understood or even cared about.
Now, like COVID-19, HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. There are treatments and with COVID, there is a vaccine. I’m sure someday soon there will be a vaccine for HIV as well, but I have to wonder, if HIV had attacked the straight community as vehemently as it struck the LGBTQIA community would we have a vaccine by now?
I can’t say for certain, but I have a feeling the answer would be yes.
As we move forward, beyond COVID-19 and beyond HIV we need to count ourselves lucky and not take our family and friends for granted, because tomorrow is not a promise or a guarantee. Tomorrow is a hope and a dream. One that so many people will never see or get. As we all start marching our ways back to life, to family, and to our friends, remember what we lost and what we almost lost. Remember, these last fourteen months have showed us how important we all are to each other and to the greater community. We all have value and we all make the world a better pace.
Until next time, have a great week.