Happy Wednesday Scribblers, this past weekend, Eric and I went to Disneyland for Pride Night and as we enjoyed the night and experienced this wonderful event that Disney offered (officially for the first time). I took the opportunity to talk with folks and hear their stories and why this event was important to them. Eric and I also talked and the more I listened and heard everyone’s thoughts, even the thoughts of the cast members, I realized there was an underlying theme to the night. Not only am I going to share more of the fun pictures from the event, I’m also going to share my thoughts on what it’s like to be an Outsider in our world and finally being able to be 100% who I am even if it’s for only a few short hours.
Now, before I get started, this is my point of view and I fully understand and appreciate that my experience and observations are nothing compared to people of color, trans people of color, and even other members of the queer community. That said, I believe there is a common theme that I feel we all share and can agree on.
We are all the Outsider, that society fears.
We are the Outsiders.
Our world, as amazing and filled with wonder that it is, is skewed. Our society is set up for heterosexual members of our race. We think nothing of seeing a mother and father walking down the street with a baby buggy or a toddler. We see images of happy straight couples everywhere we look. This, to our greater society, is normal, well many of us are not ‘normal’; we are an Outsider. And as Outsiders, when we walk down a street, we don’t typically reach for our loved one’s hand to hold. We don’t typically share a kiss in public. And if we do either of these things, we are always checking over our shoulders, ensuring our safety.
We live as the Outsiders. We are the other, that for some reason people these days are terrified of.
But it’s us who are terrified. It is us who continue to live in fear. It is us who get the odd looks. The nasty comments. Why? It is this ten to fifteen percent of society, that may enjoy greater safety and freedoms, these days (for now), but none the less, we are a minority of oppressed people who in reality get a few moments of pure joy where we can let down our hair and be a hundred percent our true selves.
We are the Outsiders who live at the mercy of the Insiders. The ones who can control not only our lives, but our existence.
I can say this to you, because I live as an Outsider every day of my life. I experience outsiderness and I live in fear of losing not only my freedom, but my life. I live this on a daily basis.
When Eric and I are out in public, we never hold hands. We never kiss. People may look at us and see two gay men, but they may not be sure, because we don’t show ourselves that way. Not in public and rarely in private around our friends. This is how we grew up, and this is what stuck, because we are the Outsiders. We learned what was acceptable and expected of us.
So, when a company like Disney supports people like me (and I fully understand they are not perfect) and offers us a safe place to be ourselves and to show the world who we really are. It’s important. It’s special. And yes, it’s magical.
When Disney announced that they were doing their first official Pride Night, there was no way that Eric and I were going to miss it. Because for a few short hours we were normal. We were the norm, and no one judged us for being a couple. We weren’t the Outsiders anymore.
As we left, I heard several people make comments like; “I wish this night wouldn’t end.” And I agreed, because I knew as we walked back to our hotel (with a casual and familiar space between us) I wished we could have continued to be in that bubble where, for once, I could be my full self.
During the event, Disney put together a special fireworks display. It was about five, maybe six minutes, and the musical direction was wonderful. The fireworks ended with the song from the movie, The Greatest Showman; This is Me. As I watched, cheered and enjoyed, I also wept because the words to This is Me, always made me feel seen. Made me feel valued. Made me feel safe. It also filled me with a joy and strength to continue to write and to show the world my books aren’t about the character(s) being a member(s) of the queer community but these individuals living out in the open and going on adventures that got to happen to everyone else, but never to the Outsider until now.
Well, there you go, the point of view from an Outsider, who occasionally gets to live as an Insider. I hope you enjoyed the photos too. As you can see, we had a blast. Until next time, have a great week.