Being Thankful

Happy Wednesday Scribblers I hope you’re all doing well today. Since US Thanksgiving is coming up next week (can you believe it) I thought I would spend some time sharing all the things I’m thankful for. I also, thought doing this would be a good reminder, especially for myself, given all that has been happening in the world and here at home these last several months.

To start, I’m thankful for is being healthy. Given everything that has happened with COVID-19 I’m grateful that I’ve remained healthy, not only me but Eric and my dad as well. I’m hopeful we will continue to remain in good health as we continue down this crazy path that has been 2020 and into whatever will come our way in 2021.

Continuing on, I’m thankful that Eric and I have been able to work and our jobs have been stable during this time. A lot of people have not been so fortunate, so even though there are days were work can be insane I’m grateful. I’m also grateful for the work I do, my agency has helped thousands of people during this awful time and we will continue to do so. Knowing this makes me doubly blessed.

This is a two-for-one, I’m grateful to have both a safe place to live and plenty of food to eat. It’s something many of us take for granted and I definitely want it to be known how grateful I am.

Tying into the first one on my list, I’m thankful that a majority of my family and friends have also remained healthy during this. Sadly, this is not 100%, we lost a few people to this terrible pandemic and they will be missed. However, a majority of everyone we know remain healthy. Which I’m very thankful for.

Next up, is that I’m thankful to have published six books with two more coming out next year. This has been incredible and I’m so blessed to have this experience. Oh and if you haven’t read all my books, you can find them here or anywhere else you buy books from.

Fitting in with having these amazing books published is that I’m thankful for all of you who continue to support me and my writing. These last several years have been amazing and I couldn’t be prouder to have gotten to know you all and hear from you. I look forward to this pandemic being behind us so I can get out there and meet folks face-to-face again.

And last on my list, is meeting so many fellow authors (both members of and nonmembers of the Queer Community) they are all wonderful and supportive. They really have been a joy to get to know and learn from.

That’s my list. I’m sure there is a bunch of stuff I’m missing, but I believe this covers the big stuff. If you enjoyed this week’s post check out some of my other posts that are positive and uplifting in case you need the pick-me-up:

The Week Before Thanksgiving. In this blog post, I focus on all that is good as I work through my preholiday funk. Check it out here.

Stop Being Negative and Don’t be a Jerk. Really, it’s all about being a better human being. In this Memorial Day post, I share my thoughts on not being a jerk (something I still struggle with). Check it out here.

Thank you all for stopping by and taking a few minutes to show your support. It really does mean the world to me. What are you thankful for? Have you taking the time to count your blessings? Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you found my insights interesting think about sharing it. Got a question or want to share what you are thankful for feel free to leave it in the comments below. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Kindness

Happy Wednesday Scribblers I hope everyone is doing well today and you are all taking good care of yourselves. This week I want to talk about kindness…

Ugh. I hear you all saying.

But, being kind is something in short supply these days and has been in short supply for quite some time. Given everything that has happened the last several years and especially the last several months I’m asking people to be kind to one another. Kindness doesn’t cost anything and is pretty easy.

I’m not asking you to do anything else, you don’t have to embrace your abuser, you don’t have to be passive, you don’t have to hide your hurt, you don’t have to hide your anger. You don’t have to hide your glee. You aren’t being asked to tone done the celebrations. All you need to do is be kind.

Why do I keep saying this? Why do I keep asking you to be kind to one another?

Here’s the thing. I remember as a kid all the awful and horrible things that were said about me and too me. I remember being bullied, I remember crying and wondering why no one liked me. I remember someone threatening to throw me into a fire because no one like me and everyone wanted me dead (yes this really happened).

As I got older, I remember being called more names and having people threaten me to the point where a sheriff had to follow me home for several days to ensure I wasn’t attacked or beaten up…or worse.

As I got older still, I was lucky and I was able to melt into the background of High School I wasn’t picked on too much, which was a relief. After school, once I came out and started going to clubs with my friends, the name calling, the threats, the bullying, etc. started back up.  A friend and I were attacked one night and, on another night, we were harassed by the police.

Once I joined the working world (with a real job), I had a boss who was a bully. He would hover over me not saying anything and watch me. The abuse got so bad that I ended up in therapy for a while. It got so bad, that when I went to the big boss, I was told I should quit because they weren’t going to do anything about it. I resigned at that point and went to a lawyer to see what could be done only to find out there was nothing that they could do. The Lawyer would be happy to file suit, but the odds of me winning were less than zero and it would cost me a fortune. They also said that any media attention would ruin my chances of getting hired anywhere.

I was in my mid-twenties.

Why am I sharing any of this, most of which I haven’t thought about in years, because through all this, I tried to remain kind to people. I smiled, I laughed, I lived my life as best I could. I figured the only thing I had any control over was how I reacted. I didn’t come by this realization alone, it took therapy. Anyway, I could have been angry. I could have been cruel. I could have been petty. I could have treated them just as badly as they treated me.

And, yes, there were times I did all of that.

The company that forced me to quit, made the mistake of telling me I could still attend the company Christmas Party. Oh, and did I attend. I called one of my best friends at the time, who happened to be gorgeous and asked if he would help me in a little pay back. He jumped at the idea. We showed up at the party all decked out, and we put on a show. The boss who asked for my resignation was there of course and so was my bully. I ignored them both and turned my back on them and walked off when they came up to greet us. The rest of the night my buddy and I danced, made out, and made sure that this last work event I went to went down in the history books. I was so proud of myself for the way I handled it. I showed them. I gave them a taste of all the BS they had forced on me and they had to take it. Every bit of it.

I felt vindicated.

Then a couple days later I heard, that no one cared. That I looked petty. I looked childish. All I had done was reinforce their opinions about me. Not only had I burned that bridge, but I blew it up, salted the Earth and nuked the surroundings.

Was it a personal victory? Sure.

Am I proud of what I did and how I acted? Not really.

Despite this being what I would call a victory it meant nothing to them. They could point to me and how I acted and say, “That’s what we dealt with daily. That’s why he’s not here anymore.”

None of true. But it didn’t matter. I had made such a show of it, that people believed them.

I didn’t make a point. I didn’t make a statement. I played the fool and looked the part.

I wonder what would have happened if I showed up and was kind. Thankful for all the wonderful people I met there. If I held up my head and treated them the way I always wanted them to treat me. What if I shook their hands, smiled and thanked them? Could I have done it? I would like to think so, but I can’t say for sure, because I was so hurt and angry.

The reality is I’ll never know.

I believe 100% that what I should have done, is been kind at the very least. I could have smiled. Talked to my friends and been polite to my former boss and not turned my back on them and walk way. Then they would have had nothing negative to say about me, and they would have looked like idiots when people asked why I wasn’t there anymore.

Ah well. A lessoned learned I suppose.

What I want you think about is this, what does it cost you to be kind? How does it make you look? Why should you take the high road? What will people in your wake of nastiness say about you? Because trust me there will be a wake, people won’t forget. They may understand and agree but in the back of their minds they will always questions when you are going to blow up or act up again and are they going to be on the receiving end.

That is the cost that hinds behind cruelty and hate.

For me I’m not kind for any of them. I do it for me. I do it so I can hold my head high and know that despite all the awful, horrible things that are done and said to me. I didn’t let them win. I showed them that they can’t pull me down. That at the end of the day I was the better person. I did what was right. Even though it hurt and was hard as hell, I passed the test of being a decent human being.

You don’t have to embrace your enemy to be kind. You just have to show them that they have no power over you. You aren’t giving them space in your mind or in your emotions. Despite all the crap they put you through, here you are; strong, powerful, in charge, and living your best life. They didn’t win. You won.

You won!

You won, because they mean so little to you that nothing they did affected you. Even if you go home and need to cry, or whatever you have to do to heal. When it comes down to it, when you are petty, nasty, and mean. You are validating the worst that they pointed out in you, and not only did you show them, but you showed the rest of world too.

Be kind. It costs you nothing.

Being kind isn’t giving up. It’s not condoning their behavior. Being kind is you keeping your power and your strength. Kindness shows the world that you can go out and fight for all that is good in the world. You can fight for the change you want to see and at the end of the day, you can still be a kind and good person. Your victory won’t be built on cruelty or nastiness, but on a smile and a kind word.

Some of you won’t agree with me. Some of you are still hurt and angry by so many things. I know nothing anyone will say will change that and I’m sorry.

I’ll tell you all this truth about me. There is a lot I’m still hurt and angry about. I still think people don’t like me. I still live in the world where someone is trying to push me into a fire because no one could ever like or care about me. Sometimes, I still hear my former boss standing over my shoulder breathing, watching me work, just to torture me. When I see a sheriff’s vehicle my mind flashes to when I had to have an escort home from school so nothing would happen to me. When I see a police car I often think is this person going to pull me over and harass me. When Eric and I are out on the streets or somewhere public I look over my shoulder to see where he is and to see if anyone is watching us or going to say or do something to us. Those hurts and fears never go away, they are there, at least for me.

But I don’t let them make me bitter and angry.

At the end of the day. I’m still going to be kind, or at least try to be. Because out of everything, that is what I can control.

That’s all I got for you. If you are still reading and want a bit more from me. Check out some of these past posts you might enjoy:

Where has all our Mutual Respect Gone?

This is another piece about how we treat each other and why at the very least we need to have some kind of mutual respect (much easier said than done). Click here.

Where has all our Mutual Respect Gone?

Want to hear my thoughts on “Polite Society” and how I don’t always agree with it. Check out this post here.

 All about San Jose, California.

This is a fun post about my home town. Where I grew up and where me and Eric live. Click here to learn more, especially since it’s the location where most of my books are set.

I hope you enjoyed, or at least got through this and understand a bit more about me. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you found this information interesting think about sharing it. Got a question feel free to ask in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer it. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Where in the World can you find my Books?

Happy Wednesday Scribblers I hope everyone is doing well today.  For me it’s been a crazy few weeks and I’m mentally and physically exhausted.  However, I, we, keep pushing forward.  Today I wanted to do a shout out to all the locally owned bookstores that have my books in house.  Of course, you can go to any bookstore and ask them to order my book for you (which I recommend as it’s a great way to support a local business or two).

Here are all the book stores (from around the world) that currently carry one or more of my books:

Austria:

Löwenherz bookstore

Berggasse 8A-1090 Vienna

www.loewenherz.at

Canada:

Glad Day Bookshop

499 Church Street

Tornoto, ON, M4Y 2C6

www.gladdaybookshop.com

Germany:

Prinz Eisenherz Buchladen GmbH

Motzstr. 23

10777 Berlin

www.prinz-eisenherz.com

United States of America:

Capital Books

1011 K Street

Sacramento, CA 95814

www.capitalbooksonk.com

Books Inc – Campbell

Pruneyard Shopping Center

1875 S. Bascom Avenue #600

Campbell, CA 95008

www.booksinc.net

Did you know you can also find my books at the following on-line retailers?

• Amazon

• Barns and Noble

• Walmart.com

• iTunes

• Kobo

• Smashwords

Also, you can find my books at the following locations:

San Jose Public Library

www.sjpl.org

Billy DeFrank LGBTQ Community Center

938 The Alameda

San Jose, CA 95126

www.defrankcenter.org

Lavender Library

1414 21st Street

Sacramento, CA 95811

www.lavenderlibrary.com

Since we still can do any in person events check out my calendar of events that I’ll be doing virtually:

Check my calendar of events here.

Well this is all I have for you this week. Have you found my books in a local bookstore? Let me know. Better yet, take a picture of you with my book, post it and tag me, I would love to see where my books pop up. As always please remember to drop me a heart/like below letting me know you stopped by. It really does make all the difference and lets me know that connect you like so I can make more of it. Got a question feel free to ask it in the comments below and I’ll do my best to answer it. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Book Editing; Overly Used Words, Filtering and Filler Words

Hello Scribblers. Another week has flow by. As several of you have probably noted, over the last several weeks I’ve been buried in the editing process.  In fact, I just finished and sent off the first round (or pre-edits) to my upcoming novel the sequel to my duology of The Calling, titled The Called. The book should be coming out March 2021.

This particular around of editing has been long and arduous, not because it’s hard, but because this round of editing involves getting rid of overly used words, filtering words, filler words, etc. And I want to know what you think? What are you looking for in a properly edited book? Do you even care? Let me explain what these all mean and you can tell me your thoughts.

Now what are these Overly Used Words I mentioned? Some of them are:

Really

Actually

Very

Just

Shrug

Because

There are more of course (a lot more) basically overly used words are common words everyone uses all the time. So, when we write we tend to use them too much and have to go back into our works and remove them. Authors have to figure out ways to rework sentences to either eliminate or replace these words and phrases. Sometimes the change makes sense, other times the change doesn’t. Still the process takes times. One chapter can take several hours to edit. The outcome of these edits can make the story much better.

There are times when word choice is made for dialect reasons or to remind readers you are in a certain character’s point of view and the author is showing you their mind set.

Think about the words or phases you use all the time. For me I use “just” and “really” all the time, even when I’m thinking. If suddenly, those words were gone would I still sound like me?

Recrafting chapters and sentence structure to address specific words can be a slippery slope and needs to always be done with caution and for good reason.

Overused words aren’t the only item that needs to be addressed during editing. Filtering Words or Phases is something that all authors are asked to address in their writing. Filtering words include:

Saw

Heard

Thought

Could

Watched

And many more. These words, like the overused words, can slip up readers, or separate the reader from the story. Instead of saying; “Marc heard a loud bang off to his left.” The sentence may read better as; “Marc startled at the crash off to his left as his stomach flipped and his palms became damp.” With this change you have a greater sense of what Marc is feeling you are more in his point of view and the phasing is much richer and interesting.

Making these adjustments to one’s story tends to help the stories flow, however like with all editing, making these changes takes times and can dramatically change the story the author is looking to share with the world. In some cases, despite these changes making the story more richly worded, they can also increase the word count making the story longer than it may need to be.

Filler Words such as: was, that, and it always need to be addressed and edited out whenever and wherever possible. These changes will allow for a more descriptive story.

One of the big writing no-no’s is adverbs, basically anything ending with ‘ly’ nothing will spin an Editors head faster than an adverb, luckily for this round of ending I didn’t have anything that got dinged.  However, there are still a few more rounds of editing to go.

So, when you are reading a book and you stop because you are hung up by some crazy turn of phase and wonder why the author didn’t write. “Said” instead of this long description about how the character reacted, you can rest assured that at some point the author did write ‘said’ but was asked to reconsider the words use and create something that offers the reader more description and detail. Or, to be fair, the author may have changed in on their own…we do that too.

Now that I explained these editing/writing ‘rules’ with you. What do you think? Do you care? Well, why you should care is because, as I said at the start of this blog post, this round of editing took me close to four weeks. This is the first round; their will be at least two more rounds of editing. Which leads me to the point that books take time to write and time to be properly edited, so keep that in mind when you wonder why a good author only publishes one or two books a year.

Want to learn more about the writing process? Interested in finding out more about the writing journey check out these posts:

Mother of Words – By Claire Buss Check it out here.

On Reading – by Joyce Hertzoff Check it out here.

Why I Write and How the Stories Come to me? Check it out here.

What are your thoughts on all this? What do you think about the editing process? Would you rather an author pump out a new book every month, to hell with the quality of the writing? Or, do you want to read a novel that is accurately edited and know that every effort to make the story its best possible self has been made? I would love to hear what you all think. Do filter words bother you when you read? What about overused words, do you notice them? What are your thoughts on adverbs? Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post on your social media platforms to help keep the conversation going. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Story Time – Bay Area Queer Writers Association

Hello Scribblers. Am I the only one who is absolutely hating this heatwave.  It’s crazy. I know California typically gets one or two of these a year. I’ll never get used to them. They sure suck. And don’t even get me started on all the fires.  It’s been insane.

Today I wanted to share with you that this Saturday August 22nd at 4pm the writers of BAQWA (Bay Area Queer Writers Association) will be hosting a Story Time (virtual reading) this will be our second virtual event. We were so impressed with the turnout of the last one, we decided to do another one. The plan is to offer virtual readings on a regular basis, so check out my event page (click here), or join our group on Facebook so you never miss out. Click here.

I’m very excited to be doing another one of these, maybe at some point I’ll get more comfortable in front of the camera. Let me know down below what you think I should read from. The choices are: Conviction (Book 2 – A New World), T.A.D. – The Angel of Death, The Reunion, or A Dragon for Christmas. Cast your vote and stop by on Saturday at 4pm to see what I’ll be reading.

Here is a direct link to the event:

https://www.facebook.com/events/303856394182119

Also, this week, I wanted to share the exciting news that I received the pre-edits for The Called (the second and final book in my The Calling series). I’m really thrilled to get these, because it means we are that much closer to the release of the final novel in this duology. If all goes well the book should be out early next year (January or February), but perhaps it’ll be sooner.

Here is the book blurb to wet your appetite:

The world is changing quickly for Chris now that he’s part of the Immortal Community. With the events of his past finally behind him, he’s still having visions and true magic is gradually taking hold in our world. There are new challenges that the Immortals must face, but Chris is still new and has no real standing in the immortal community. Learning that nothing in the Immortal community is what Chris thought and now having to face new threats, how will his new world unfold? Old enemies must work together and longtime friends may not be trustworthy. Who is lurking in the shadows? Why are they here? What does this mean for witches, immortals and humans?

Can Chris’ visions even be trusted given recent events, and how easily his mind is manipulated? With Juliet, Amanda, and Kirtus by his side they have to prevent the immortal and witch community from being exposed. Can they trust the local witches that are there to assist them? Can they trust their fellow Immortals? New friendships are made, and longtime alliances are called into question. How will The Called defeat these latest threats, and what does it mean for our world?

And that is all I have for you this week Scribblers. Don’t forget to leave me a comment and let me know what story you want me to read from this Saturday. Additionally, are you looking forward to The Called?  Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post on your social media platforms to help keep the conversation going. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Absent Friends

Hello Scribblers. Another week has flow by. Over the last few days, I’ve thought a lot about people from my past.  Friends who at a time in my life were important to me. They helped me in so many ways, then over time we lost touch, they moved away, or of course, they passed on. This is how I define an absent friend and they play a big role in our lives, or at least they do in mine.

It’s funny in a way, when I think of certain friends I smile or I remember something crazy stupid we might have done. I have a laugh then I get nostalgic. I wonder what happened? What changed? Was it a fight? Was it something that was said or done? Was it life? What would they say or do now if they were still with us. Was there something that I could have done or said to ensure they were still here? For whatever reason life changed, we grew apart and then they were gone.

At this moment, I can think of at least five absent friends who I remember and miss on a regular bases. They showed me and taught me things that I know I would have never learned otherwise. Some of it good and some of it not.

I morn these losses.

I, also, celebrate these times.

I celebrate because of what I learned from these people. Whether I learned more about life and how to live it, myself and how people see me and how I see myself, or about the world in general, not everyone has the same history or background so what might make perfect sense to me and be a ‘no brainer’ is in fact difficult and not as intuitive for others. These were important lessons and by extension those that taught them to me are important. So, I wonder what happen to them. What they are doing now. Where they are. How they are getting along. Who they are with. Are they happy. Are they looking down from above? Do they think back fondly on the time we were friends or do I not even get a passing thought? It’s interesting to think about.

Assuming they are alive, you would think finding them and being able to check in on them would be easy given the prevalence of Social Media these days, but even with that, not everyone is on social media and not everyone wants to be found. Some of these people, who for whatever reason affected us greatly have even gone so far as to ensure we can’t find them.  Which is fine, they have to take care of themselves. I know, for myself, I’m sure there are people out there who think I was a terrible friend. Heck, I could even be the villain of their story. And I’ve come to peace with that.

What others think of you is none of your business.

Still, I’d like to think that they learned as much from me as I’ve learned from them, but maybe not. There is no rule that says education has to be a two-way street.

Still, these people, these wonderful individuals where important to me and I find, at times, that I miss them and I wonder about them. I hope they are happy and healthy. For those that have moved on from this world I hope they are watching down on us and continue to check in.

Absent friends don’t have to be looked back on in a negative manner, because even the worst of them taught us something and for that we should be grateful. Painful lessons are often the best teachers for us. I think I’ve learned more from being hurt by friends than any other way. Being taken advantage of, being lied to, being physically hurt and being emotionally traumatized are all powerful tools. They suck, and are terrible, but you learn and it is doubtful you will ever have to go through that again.

Lessons are what life is all about. We learn. We grow. We move forward. At least that is the hope. And absent friends, as well as friends, are there to help teach us these lessons making us who we are now… hopefully that is someone better than we were before.

Let’s all be better. Let’s take the lessons we’ve learned from friends and absent friends to heart so their lessons were not in vain.

That is all for now, my lovely Scribblers. What about you? Do you have absent friends who have taught you a great deal, but for one reason or another are now gone from your life? Share your stories below. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post on your social media platforms to help keep the conversation going. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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Virtual Book Reading

Hello Scribblers and a happy Wednesday to you all. This week, well this last weekend, in case you haven’t heard yet, I was part of a virtual book reading with one of the writers’ groups I belong to; the Bay Area Queer Writers Association (BAQWA). There were six of us reading from our various works. We had a blast.

There was a little something for everyone. We had readings from romance, fantasy, vampires, and even an essay about South Africa. The reading, and our readers were quite the mix.  If you missed it check it out by clicking here.

To learn more about BAQWA and our group of authors click here.

For the virtual book reading I read from my debut novel The Calling. If you would like to view the reading (which I would love) check it out below.

Don’t forget I have several books out right now, not just The Calling. You can find all my works here.

That’s it for this week, I’m keeping it nice and short. Next week I’m having another amazing guest author here for chat so keep an eye open for that. Check out the reading and learn more about the amazing authors from BAQWA and their works. Is there something you would like me to read from for my next book reading? The Calling was requested by a fan, so if there is a book of mine you’d like me to read from let me know in the comments below. Until next time, please stay safe, wear a mask, support each other, and practice social distancing.

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My Thoughts on Hamilton: An American Musical

Hello Scribblers. Happy Wednesday. This week I thought I would focus on something a little more in my lane, so to speak. I decided to share my thoughts on Hamilton: An American Musical (Eric and I watched it this weekend). Let’s get started shall we:

I enjoyed it. The musical was well acted and the singing was excellent. The End.

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Now that we got that out of the way, and those that aren’t interested in my opinion have moved on I can continue.  If you are still reading this, then you might be a tiny bit interested in what more I have to say about Hamilton. Here we go:

Typically, I try not to buy into all the hype. When Hamilton came on the scene and everyone was clamoring about this amazing new musical. I held my breath. Tickets were selling out in minutes, you couldn’t get in for months on end, tickets were being sold by scalpers for more than a car, etc. I was worried. Don’t get me wrong I wanted to see it, I was hoping to catch it on tour, but tickets, as stated, were almost impossible to get.  So we waited. And waited. And waited.

Finally, six years later, one pandemic, and paying for Disney+ we got to see it.  Yay!

Okay, wait, before I go any further I want to say a few things.  One, I’ve acted live on stage. Two, I’ve worked for a Theater. Three, I’ve worked on musicals. Four, I’ve seen musicals on Broadway. Five, I’ve been on TV before. Six, I’ve been going to the theater since I was a kid. This is where I’m coming from and I have one more thing to add. Theater, acting, and musicals are not easy. They are hard in fact. Which is why I no longer do it…well that and being told by a Director that I would never be cast for anything more than a sidekick or as a minor character for a walk on role.

As I mentioned I enjoyed Hamilton, the acting was great, the singing was…  wow, and the story was well crafted and told. A musical biography cannot be easy to create, yet here it is.

However, for me, it fell flat. It started off slow with a lot of exposition. There was no stand out song or musical number, well, I guess you could say, My Shot, was meant to be the stand out and I loved the sound, but it didn’t have that staying power I was hoping for. In fact, writing this I had to check the album to ensure that I had the song and the name of the song correct. Despite My Shot, being the second song written for the musical, I was hoping for it to be more. Even Alexander Hamilton (the first song written), the opening song, was good, but again the song didn’t catch me or draw me in.

That wasn’t my only issue with the musical. The staging was good, not great, given how powerful the story was, there was so much more they could have done. When staging is done well it can transport you. This didn’t do it for me. I’ve seen shows with minimal staging and sets; Rent and Our Town come to mind, they did excellent jobs and I felt like I was there as they transported me to their worlds in their musicals. Hamilton didn’t do that for me, I will say, that what they did do and how they used the stage was impressive.

Additionally, the meaning of the musical, to me, feels like it was written with a political message in mind, which is fine, but at times it seemed heavy handed. This is a historical musical written about actual people from history, so the message, the politics, I believe, are already there and should have been natural, however Hamilton took every opportunity to remind the audience of what it wanted you to take away, they even stopped to break the fourth wall to ensure the audience did in fact get what they wanted you to get. 

The message; I appreciate everything that Lin-Manuel Miranda tried to do with this musical, however, he was selective on what he wrote about Alexander Hamilton, especially when it came to slavery and Native Americans. In general, our history has been whitewashed and we are typically only taught the rosy pretty parts of American History, however, American History is anything but rosy. Our history, much like the rest of the world’s history (after all we are not the only ones in history to do terrible things to our fellow humans), is messy. Awful atrocities have been committed to give us the world we have (good and bad). I was actually hopping for Hamilton to really hit this message hard and to not shy away from some of these lesser known and darker parts of history, but it didn’t. Yes, they did do a few brief mentions, but nothing more then a nod and moved on. Which was a bummer.

The cast, okay, here me out…

I loved the cast and everything about them was incredible. I couldn’t have been happier with the actors… I bet you thought I was going to say something less then flattering…nope. I loved the casting. Personally, my favorite was Jonathan Groff as King George, every time he was on stage I knew we were going to be in for a treat.  I also loved Lin-Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton and Daveed Diggs as both Maarquis de Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson. Honestly the whole cast was fantastic and I don’t have anything bad to say about them.

In summary, I could never do what creator Lin-Manuel Miranda did. It amazes me what he has given, and continues to give, our world. The music, the story, the characters, the tongue and cheek nods and winks to the audience, it was all brilliant. I just wanted more, I wanted Hamilton to live up to all the hype, and for me, sadly, it didn’t.

All that said, feel free to leave your thoughts and comments below. So, these are my thoughts on Hamilton. Do you agree? Do you have different thoughts? Did I miss something? Please let me know. Until next time, please stay safe, wear a mask, support each other, and practice social distancing.

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Pandemic; what have we learned?

Hello Scribblers. I hope you are all staying safe and doing well this week.  As you can see, hopefully, I’ve been getting back into my blogging. This whole year, 2020, has been crazy and most days I feel lost and confused. So much is happening around us that it’s not easy to know where to look and what to focus on.

Today, however, I wanted to focus on a topic that I think we can agree has absorbed our society and our world since March (even before then for some areas of the planet) I want to talk about the pandemic. And ask the question; what have we learned?  I’m not a doctor and I’m not a scientist. I’m an author and I have a day job working in the nonprofit sector. What I’m getting at is I’m no expert and I have no real answers, only questions. Take what I say with a grain of salt and do your own research if you chose.

When this pandemic started everyone said it was unprecedented, that nothing like this has every happened before. But, of course, anyone who knows history will know that this has happened before, 1918 – 1919, The Spanish Flu. Here is what the CDC has to say about The Spanish Flu:

The 1918 influenza pandemic was the most severe pandemic in recent history. It was caused by an H1N1 virus with genes of avian origin. Although there is not universal consensus regarding where the virus originated, it spread worldwide during 1918-1919.  In the United States, it was first identified in military personnel in spring 1918. It is estimated that about 500 million people or one-third of the world’s population became infected with this virus. The number of deaths was estimated to be at least 50 million worldwide with about 675,000 occurring in the United States.

Mortality was high in people younger than 5 years old, 20-40 years old, and 65 years and older. The high mortality in healthy people, including those in the 20-40 year age group, was a unique feature of this pandemic. While the 1918 H1N1 virus has been synthesized and evaluated, the properties that made it so devastating are not well understood. With no vaccine to protect against influenza infection and no antibiotics to treat secondary bacterial infections that can be associated with influenza infections, control efforts worldwide were limited to non-pharmaceutical interventions such as isolation, quarantine, good personal hygiene, use of disinfectants, and limitations of public gatherings, which were applied unevenly.

Learn more about the Spanish Flu here and here.

Granted much has changed over the last 100 years, however, what hasn’t changed is our attitudes. Just like in 1918-1919 people got tired of staying home, they demanded business to open, people went back to work, people went to sporting events, had parades, and celebrated various holidays in mass.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Unfortunately, this attitude is what caused the second, third, and fourth wave of the illness and more people died.

Here we are repeating history, in one of the worst possible ways.

What are we doing?

As I write this, the United Sates has confirmed 2,149,745 cases and we are reporting 117,163 deaths. It’s been four months, which if my math is correct is 29,290 deaths a month (and we are currently only half way through June). If we compare this to the Spanish Flu of 1918-1919 there were 28,125 deaths a month (for a twenty-four month period). Again, if my math is correct we have about 1,165 more deaths a month then the Spanish Flu. At this rate we are on target to have 702,960 deaths for the same twenty-four month time frame. We are out pacing the 1918 Spanish Flu.

Of course there are a lot of events that can change in the coming months, especially given the current political climate and the protests.

What have we learned?

I’m not sure. I don’t know what the best solutions are either. Sadly, while all this is happening, we are in an economic crisis caused by the pandemic and political upheaval because of the murder of several African Americans due to police brutality. These are difficult times and we are being asked to make difficult choices. I don’t have answers, only questions.

To me it feels as if we, as a society, are peeking over a precipice and I’m not sure what is going to happen next. I see history repeating itself in so many ways and I’m worried.

All I know for sure is that we need to take care of ourselves, and each other. We need to uplift each other and be kind. What we are facing may be unprecedented in our time but it’s not new to us. We will pull through, what our world looks like when all is said and done I have no idea. So, until next time, please stay safe, wear a mask (if not for you then for those around you), support each other, and practice social distancing.

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Interview with author J. P. Jackson

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. It’s been a devastating couple of weeks (filled with pain, anger, and hope for change). My hope is that you are taking care of yourselves. In an effort to promote positivity and to give us a short break this week I pleased to bring back fellow author and amazing friend J. P. Jackson on my Scribbles page to talk with us about what he’s been up to since the last time we chatted (you can view his last interview here) and to share some amazing news about his new audio book.

Before we jump into our conversation tell us about yourself and your writing.

That’s always such a daunting task. Who am I? I’m a 50 year old gay man, on the bearish side, married to a fantastic man for the past 22 years. I’m also Canadian (sorry), and among the many other things I can classify myself as, I have to own up to the fact that I’m a writer.

(Gasp!)

That’s always so hard for me to own.

When I do sit down and write there are a few elements that are essential.

1. There has to be some kind of paranormal or magical element. I love urban fantasy, I love ghosts and demons and the things that go bump in the night. I guarantee every single one of my books or short stories is going to involve something fantastical.

2. My main characters will always be LGBTQ+. Usually I write about gay men. I have an affinity for the bearish men, and for red heads, and you’ll find them predominant in my tales, but I’ve included a little bit of everybody.

3. I typically write in the here and now. As much as I love futuristic Sci-Fi and historical Fantasy, it’s just not my jam to write, plus I don’t think I have the skills to do those genre properly.

So, there you go. Gay, bearish, magical, things with wings and tails. That’s pretty much me and what you’ll get from my stories.

What have you been up to since the last time I had you over for a sit down?

Oh goodness. Let’s see. I wrote another book, not related to either the Books of the Apocalypse or the Inner Demon series. I know my readers are hating me right now because of that. But this story just wouldn’t leave me alone.

The book is called Summoned, and it’s about Devid Khandelwal. He’s a first generation born Canadian of East Indian descent and he has a deep fascination for all things occult. But as much as he has studied and practiced runes and tarot and spirit summonings, nothing has ever happened to him that might be considered supernatural. He’s about to give it all up, but tries one last spell. Dev purchases a summoning board that grants desires and he ropes his best friend, Cameron Habersham, into performing the ritual with him.

Nothing happens, and Dev is crushed.

But then…

The desires they wished for start coming true.

Dev and Cam are plunged into the Shadow Realm and all hell breaks loose. The two find themselves in the middle of an all-male coven, who capture and victimize Fae, and who are in a generations long feud with the local werewolf pack.

Needless to say, Dev begins to regret his involvement in the occult and the old saying “be careful what you wish for”, is suddenly a very real consideration.

That book got signed to contract with NineStar Press and should be out later this year, or early 2021.

Then I also had Magic or Die made into an Audiobook and that released last month. So far the sales are doing pretty well – the narrator was fantastic – and I had a video book trailer made to advertise the release of the audiobook, and did a week long Facebook blitz too.

I know you and I have chatted several times about writing; more specifically writing Queer Novels that aren’t romance, care to share some of your thoughts on the subject? What have your learned? What do readers need to understand about writing non romance LGBTQIA+ books, that they might not fully understand now (don’t be preachy here, keep it conversational).

This is something that STILL drives me insane.

So, for anyone reading – LGBTQ+ Fiction DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX IN IT TO MAKE IT QUEER FICTION.

Repeat that for me. Say it louder for the folks in the back.

Simply having your characters identify within the queer community is enough. The story may not revolve around relationships or sex in any way shape or form. I think the content of any story is dictated by the motivations of the character, and the situation they find themselves in. In my first book, Daimonion, the world has just started the beginning of the Apocalypse. It’s not exactly the right moment for sexy fun. In Magic or Die, there is the beginning of a relationship between one of the adult ‘students’ of the Center for Magical Research and Development, and the ‘teacher’ or ‘coach’ of the group. But the two involved talk about how inappropriate it is to act on their attraction for each other. I mean they eventually throw all caution out the window, but that has ramifications. Either way, neither of these two books have any content that I would consider to be sex. Sexual tension? Sure. Off page sex references? Absolutely – but that’s what the story demanded.

Now, Summoned, that’s a bit of a different beast. The world of Male Witches in this tale is hyper sexualized, and so there is graphic sex depicted in the novel.

I didn’t really want to go down that route – I didn’t want to be another M/M Romance author. But at the same time, I was curious to see if this kind of story would sell better than the first two. So, as much as writing Summoned stretched my comfort zones and my writing skills (writing sex isn’t easy, and writing good and accurate sex scenes is even harder (all the puns intended)), it’s also an experiment to see what sells.

I have to ask, so this new book, Summoned, is an experiment for you and your writing, does this mean if you sell more of the romance story then the Urban Fantasy that you are going to move into the romance field and give up Urban Fantasy? Will J.P. Jackson become the next Nora Roberts or Nicholas Sparks?

HAHAHAHA!

OMG if only - Nora Roberts.

So here's the fun thing - I started out with Summoned trying to write an M/M Paranormal Romance - and to be honest, I think it ended up being a sexy Urban Fantasy story that has graphic sex. I'm not sure I would call it a Romance in any way. Others may disagree.

But, if it is successful - more than the other books, will I start writing more stories like this?

Probably not.

Books of the Apocalypse have three books planned out - it's a trilogy. I have no desire to include sex in any of them

Inner Demons series has five books planned - and James and Isaiah will continue their relationship throughout the series, but will we get to see them get down and dirty? Probably not - it's not what this set of books are about.

Magus Malefica series - the book that Summoned is from - could have as many as thirteen books, each stand-alone, with repeating characters from the other stories. This series will have sex.

Other books? Probably not. Maybe? But will sex and romance be the only thing I write?  No.

I think it will depend on the story.

What was is like working on creating an audio book for Magic or Die?

The process was really interesting.

I have to say, I feel very fortunate that my publishing house is able and willing to assist its authors in getting their books formatted into an audiobook. I can’t imagine trying to do this on my own.

It has been two years since Magic or Die was published, so I had to go back and re-examine my work and that alone was an intellectual exercise. I had to create some documents that would give potential narrators a feel for the characters in the book. Who they were, what they looked like, and how I felt their voice might be portrayed. All of this work made me reevaluate the writing and my characters, and I was often surprised at my writing. After a two year break from the storyline, I had forgotten a lot of details. It was fun to go back and visit this project.

After this step was completed, I had to put together a quick script. A scene that had a good selection of characters speaking so that potential narrators had something to work from, and could audition with.

Then, the script and character sheets were posted (again, thanks to NineStar), and we waited for narrators to audition. I was fortunate that I had a couple who were interested. After listening to their reads of the script I had prepared, there was one that clearly felt ‘right’. Robbie Molinari’s (find Robbie here) voices and tone were perfect.

Robbie was then sent the offer to produce the book. He sent a sample back, reading the first few chapters. The content was fantastic.

When he was done narrating the book, I sat down with my own book in hand, and listened to Robbie as he narrated Magic or Die, following along in my book. If I came across a mistake, it was noted. Mistakes were sent off to him, they were corrected and then the entire book was uploaded to the Audible website.

One month later – 43 downloads! WOOHOO!

Now, I also know, you were busy creating a book trailer as well. Tell us about that process?

I thought it might be a good idea to advertise the release of the audiobook, as no one would even know about it otherwise. So I contacted Baz Collins (learn more about Baz and Akwekon Media here) – a fellow author from NineStar – and a media whiz, and asked him if he could create a video book trailer. He had done some in the past which I thought were stunning.

Baz and I worked together. I sent him the same character tip sheet that I sent off to the Narrator, along with a couple lines about the plot of the book, something that would ‘hook’ the readers, or make the project sound really interesting.

From there, Baz found stock images for the various characters, overlaid a number of effects with a perfectly paired soundtrack, and from all that work, he created a fantastic trailer!

Click here for the link – go watch – Baz did an incredible job.

Tell me, if there was one thing you would like readers to take away about your writing, what would it be?

Being Urban Fantasy, the stories are meant to be fantastical. To make the unreal, real. So I would hope that readers get lost in the stories and immersed in a world full of magic and possibilities.

But each book has its own theme or dilemma. So there’ll be lessons in each book, or takeaways, or things that I hope will make readers ponder and question. For instance, Magic or Die is about dealing with your own Inner Demons, and in fact, that’s the name of the series. Perhaps readers will self examine their own monsters and come to terms with them

The last thing I want, is for members of the LGBTQ+ community to have stories where they can see themselves being the hero. So often, we’ve had to fight, and fight hard in order to have the same things as our heterosexual friends and family. It’s nice to see ourselves depicted in fiction in positive ways.

Lastly, I want others who are not part of the LGBTQ+ community to see that we can be the heroes too. Members of our community are strong, smart, capable, reliable, clever, resilient, and creative. We are just as capable of fighting off the monster, defeating the villain and overcoming our own faults to be a character to look up to and strive to be.

How are your Demons treating you? What about your African Violets?

My demons are always tormenting me. They do it for fun. Sometimes they come for snuggles and pets, other times it’s to claw, bite, and scratch. They are unusual beasties, but I love them.

The violets are great right now! I have about 200 seedlings slowly growing, and a couple of seed pods ripening on some plants. New violets are on the way!

What else do you have coming up? What are you working on?

I’m really focusing on finishing the second book of the Inner Demons series – that’s the next book after Magic or Die.  It’s called Blood and Sacrifice and it’s all about dealing with James’ sister, Shauna and her use of Blood Magic. There are ghosts, zombies, vampires, siphons, and a whole new brand of magic that has a Voudon feel to it.

Then I have a couple of short stories I need to write – ideas that have come to me.

And then it’s time to start cracking down on Nephilim – Book Two of the Apocalypse. I’m equally terrified and excited to be continuing this project, and it’s long overdue.

***

I want to extend a big thanks to J.P. Jackson for stopping by and chatting with us today. if you like it a little creepy and dark then I absolutely recommend that you go out and pick up a copy of Magic or Die and listen to chilling tale. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

Find the Book trailer:

Click here to view the trailer for Magic or Die

Magic or Die Details:

James Martin is a teacher, a powerful Psychic, and an alcoholic. He used to work for the Center for Magical Research and Development, a facility that houses people who can’t control their supernatural abilities, but left after one of his students was killed, turning to vodka to soothe his emotional pain. The problem is he still has one year left on his contract. When James returns to the CMRD to fulfill the rest of his contract, he finds himself confronting the demons of his past and attempting to protect his new class from a possible death sentence, because if they don’t pass their final exams, they’ll be euthanized. James also discovers that his class isn’t bringing in enough sponsors, the agencies and world governments who supply grants and ultimately purchase graduates of the CMRD, and that means no profit for the facility. James and his students face impossible odds—measure up to the facility’s unreachable standards or escape.

Find the audiobook here.

Find the ebook and paperback here.

About J.P. Jackson

J.P. Jackson works as an IT analyst in health care during the day, where if cornered he’d confess to casting spells to ensure clinicians actually use the electronic medical charting system he configures and implements.

At night however, the writing happens, where demons, witches and shape shifters congregate around the kitchen table and general chaos ensues. The insurance company refuses to accept any more claims of ‘acts of the un-god’, and his husband of almost 20 years has very firmly put his foot down on any further wraith summoning’s in the basement. And apparently imps aren’t house-trainable. Occasionally the odd ghost or member of the Fae community stops in for a glass of wine and stories are exchanged. Although the husband doesn’t know it, the two Chihuahuas are in cahoots with the spell casting.

J.P.’s other hobbies include hybridizing African Violets (thanks to grandma), extensive travelling and believe it or not, knitting.

Where to find J.P. Jackson

Twitter find him here.

Facebook find him here.  

Goodreads find him here.  

Instagram find him here.  

NineStar Press find him here.

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Updates from Shelter-in-Place Land

Hello Scribblers. Wow! My last blog post was on March 25th that seems like a lifetime ago. My family and I are now on day 30 of our shelter-in-place order. I’m an essential worker (technically) as I work for a nonprofit that has been working the front lines of the pandemic; delivering food, preparing meals, providing mental wellness, helping the homeless, etc. Physically I’m not on the front lines, however, I’ve been working the back end and supporting our agency efforts, which is a lot of phone calls and emails with other nonprofits to track down necessary items so our work can continue. Unlike several of my coworkers, I’m working from home and only going into the office on rare occasions.

As for my husband, he works from home about 50% of the time, but because of his job he is also an essential worker (keeping his companies lights on, paying of staff, etc.) When he goes into the office he works alone, so he doesn’t come into contact with others.

When it comes to my 80-year-old father he stays at home 95% of the time, every day he takes his car for a short drive and about once a week he will go to the grocery store and pick up food. He wears a mask and does what he needs to do to not come in contact with others.

Now, before you yell at me about him going out. We tried to keep him home, but short of handcuffing him to his chair, there is no way to do it, so we mitigate the risk, for him, as best we can. He wears a mask and he goes to the store during the early morning senior hours. He washes his hands and uses non reusable bags (i.e. paper)

I’m happy to report we are all healthy, which at this point is the most important thing.

On to something lighter.

I have two announcements today. First, I’ve been working on two new writing projects. One is about a lost continent off the Pacific Coast, and the second is about a future where vampires, lycan, humans and witches all live together. Both ideas have been fun to work on. I’m not 100% sure where either story will land, but it’s been nice to jump back into writing.

Lastly, for today, my publisher is continuing its 40% off sale on all eBooks, including mine. If you need something to read, please click here and check out all the amazing books available. Read more about them below.

That is all for now, my lovely Scribblers. Do you have any ideas for keeping busy while we are all at home? Share them below. Please remember to drop me a heart/like letting me know you stopped by. If you want to help support me and my writing efforts please consider sharing this post with folks to help me get the word out, especially about the book sale, it’s a great deal for eBooks and you are supporting a local business and local artists. Until next time I hope you stay safe and have a great week.

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What we can control

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I can’t believe we are halfway through March and we are heading into Spring. How has your 2020 been going? Are you looking forward to Spring? Summer? Are you worried about the COVID-19 Virus? Worried about the coming election? There is a lot happening all around us and it can feel overwhelming, right?

These last few months I’ve felt like I’ve been in a fog, a kind of holding pattern of sorts. I go to work; I come home; I work on my writing (mostly editing); I spend some time on my marketing (i.e. social media) and that’s been about it. I have a new story idea that is floundering around in both my writing files and in my brain. I’m about seven chapters in and that is where it’s sitting.  The characters aren’t talking yet, and the story idea feels lacking.

When I throw in everything that is going on around me; the virus, the coming election, not seeing enough rain so far, the weirdness of my family since the passing of my sister, I feel stuck. It all feels like I have no control. Life is happening around me, and I’m a passive passenger.

I don’t like it.

I suppose it could be the mourning for my sister. Heck, it could be a winter funk. I’m not sure. So, today, I wanted to spend a moment writing this, get all these random thoughts out of my head and down on paper. Hoping to hear that I’m not alone. That I’m not the only one that feels this way.

I’ve been realizing how out of control the world seems, even in my personal world, and how I have little ability to control any of it. I think also, I’m angry about the death of my sister. Her dying wasn’t the plan. We were supposed to outlive our folks and grow cranky and old together. We were supposed to sit around and talk about how nutty mom and dad were and how no one would ever really understand our lives growing up except us. She and I were supposed to make fun of our own aging and our spouses and how they annoy us at that moment for whatever reason. But now I don’t get to do that. My sister meant a lot to me. We didn’t talk often, and we could annoy the hell out of each other, but I knew she was there and I could pick up the phone to call her. We could sit and bitch about anything and laugh at everything. That was taken from me. It sucks. It hurts. And I hate it. So, I’m angry about that. If I’m honest, I’m even angry with her and that is hard to admit. I know she didn’t get cancer on purpose, however, I’m still allowed to be angry. Right?

Then you throw on all this garbage happening with the coming election. We have a broken political system allowing the least qualified among us to become President. Look at our current options. They’re all terrible. I don’t want any of them, sure I can vote, and of course I will, but where will it get us? Who will it get us? What lays ahead of us? We trust these people not only with our country, but with our lives and livelihoods. Yet, I wouldn’t trust any of these idiots to make me a PB and J. Ugh. I don’t really want to think about it, because it’s terrifying.

Yet, here I am.

Remember to wash your hands and don’t touch your face… Seriously! This is the best our idiot leaders have to fight the COVID-19 virus. A virus that at the time of writing this well over 111,00 confirmed cases worldwide with more confirmed cases each hour. And Santa Clara County had its first (of what I’m sure will be many) death related to the virus. What are we supposed to do? Where is our government? What are they doing? What about the CDC and WHO, where are all the scientist? I know everyone is doing their best and people are trying, but it’s not good enough. Yes, of course, the regular flu has killed more people, and I’m sure there is a lot of media hype that is freaking everyone out. I get it. I’m not stupid. Still, we deserve better, and we’re not getting it.

Think about this for a second. I mean really think about this.

In all levels of governmental leadership, they are failing, and we keep voting these morons in. Do any of you really think the next person will do any better? Nope. Again, would you want any of them to make and serve you a PB and J. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

Now, what used to be my bright spot was my writing. It was where I went to escape. To dream of better worlds, adventures that I would love to take. All that fun stuff. But these last few months the well has been dry. And it doesn’t hold that spark for me right now. It’s no one’s fault and from everything I’ve read these things happen. Which allows me to appreciate the break. Sort of. I’ve spent this time editing and refilling the writing well. I haven’t been inactive. I’ve submitted a new novel to my publisher with another soon to be hot on its heels. With luck, they will pick them up… I’m still waiting.

I’m also feeling a bit let down by it all. It’s kind of like my day job, I feel like I give and give and I get very little in return. It’s like I’m there for everyone else and who’s there for me? Of course, there are people there. Of course, people reach out. And I enjoy it. All of it, but there are moments like right now where I wonder why I bother and I question if it’s all worth it.

So, what do I have left right now? I’m angry. I’m annoyed. I’m scared. And I’m in a writing funk.

I know I have limited control over any of it, so I shouldn’t worry about it and I’m trying not to.

In the meantime, I’m working on what I can control. I still talk to my sister now and then, but she doesn’t talk back. I even have a good chuckle now and then over our crazy antics we got into.

I vote, I pay attention to politics, and learn what I can. When it comes to it, I make the best decision I can based on the options presented to me.

And I wash my hands, use purell sanitizer, and try not to touch my face (which I fail at continually).

Mostly, I carry on. That is what I can control. I regulate my reactions and how I respond. I will not wallow in sadness, or angry, or fear, or anything else. I chose how I want to see things. Instead of focusing on all the garbage and all the negative I prefer to look for the positive. I enjoy the little things and the big things. I may not be able to control the world, but I can absolutely control how I respond to it and that’s something.

My point with sharing all this is because I want to let you know you’re not alone, none of us are. Also, we can’t control what is going on around us, but we can 100% control how we respond to it. I’ve said it before and will say it again. Be kind, be the change you want to see. Respect each other (even when it’s harder than hell). Don’t wallow in sadness and self-pity, that doesn’t help anyone. Last, don’t waste your time or emotions on people who affect you in a negative way, you don’t want them to live rent free in your brain.

I’m not only saying this for you, but for me.

Well, my lovely Scribblers try to focus on all that is positive and good. You, we, can only control our small part of the world. We can also control how we respond. Please be kind to one another and when all else fails take a deep breath; in through your nose, and out through your mouth. Until next time have a great week.

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New Decade New Year. Happy 2020

Wow it’s 2020, who would have thought we would make it this far, yet here we are, despite all the negativity and doomsday prediction. I hope everyone had an amazing holiday season and got to relax and enjoy. If you haven’t noticed I took a few weeks off to relax and refresh. I don’t think I feel that relaxed or that refreshed, but it was worth the shot.

This week I thought I would look back at all that occurred over the last decade… well maybe not everything, but definitely at my writing career and maybe I’ll peek into what’s ahead.

Back when 2010 started, I was wrapping up the first draft of what would eventually become the first two books of my A New World series, Contact and Conviction (find Contact here and find Conviction here). To say that draft was rough would be an understatement. It would take fourteen more drafts/revisions and nine more years before the book release and recent win as the 2018-2019 Rainbow Awards for Best Gay Alternative Universe/Reality & Sci-Fi / Futuristic novel (check out the details here).

In the early 2010s, I had no real idea what I was creating or what I wanted to do with A New World (what I called Contact and Conviction at the time). I had thought about maybe someday having A New World published, to see what happens, but I never thought it would become much. I also didn’t believe my writing would become anything either. So, much of the early 2010s I muddled along and wrote off and on.

Around 2015 I got this idea of a vampire novel, something different, something that I hadn’t seen before. I spent a whole lot of time playing the ‘what if’ game. What if vampires had to live in our modern society. How would vampires adapt with all our technology; cell phone, camera phone, social media, etc. I spent a lot of time playing with those ideas. What started as an idea for a story took shape and turned into The Calling (find it here), which after three years would become my debut novel released in January 2018 and it would go on to come in third place in the 2018-2019 Rainbow Awards for Best Gay Debut novel (check out the details here).

In early 2017 I had finally polished The Calling enough to where I felt comfortable in sending the manuscript to publishing houses for consideration. Up to this point, A New World wasn’t ready for anyone to look at. I was more confident with The Calling, so I started shopping it around. I received more rejections then I care to remember, but in May 2017, I got an offer by NineStar Press (learn more about the publisher here and check out all the other amazing authors) to publish The Calling.

It was an amazing day. If felt like winning the lottery.

After that initial offer by NineStar Press I dug back into A New World as well as worked on two short stories that I thought might be fun. One was The Reunion (check it out here) and the other short story was A Dragon for Christmas (find it here), both short stories were published prior to The Calling to build up buzz for my debut novel. The Reunion came out in Oct 2017 and A Dragon for Christmas came out in December 2017.

Between 2017 and 2019, I began work on my author platforms. I created a website, started a Facebook Fan Page (find it here), added a Twitter account (follow me here), began playing around with Instagram (click here) and Youtube (find it here), all in a vain effort to allow myself and my new works to be found. Additionally, I got to know several local and out of the area authors, several of whom I’ve interviewed here on my blog. During this period I’ve had the honor of being interviewed on Outlook Video (find the video here and here, I was on the show twice). In addition, I’ve had an article written about me in the San Jose Mercury News (check it out here), I’ve been on the WROTE Podcast multiple times (find me here), as well as The Writescast Network (check it out here). Divine Magazine did an article on me talking about my writing and my Dyslexia (you can find it here). Howmetown Authors published a piece I wrote titled, “Marketing and Public Relations” (find it here).

Sadly, during this time, my family had some trying times. We lost my father-in-law Jim in December 2017. Also, my sister was diagnosed with cancer in 2017 losing her fight to this awful disease in September 2019. These losses were difficult and made what should have been exciting happy moments bitter sweet.

In 2018 while these good and bad things happened to me and my family, I continued to write, I worked on the edits to A New World cutting that one story into two novels; Contact and Conviction. Also, I went to work on my novella T.A.D.-The Angel of Death (find it here), which was released in September 2019 about the same time as when my sister passed away.

Through these last ten years it has amazed me how much my life has changed and how blessed I’ve truly been despite the bad times.  When I glance into the future and wonder what these next ten years are going to bring, I can only hope I’ll be equally as blessed.

What I do have planned in 2020? First, a few author friends and I will be launching the Bay Area Queer Writers Association (BaqWa) (you can find our landing page on Facebook here) to bring our works forward to the greater Bay Area and hopefully beyond with public readings and showing up at local events. Also, I’ll be releasing the sequel to The Calling tentatively titled The Called. I have finished the third installment in my A New World series, book three, tentatively titled Conspiracy. I’m hoping Conspiracy will be released either at the end of 2020 or early 2021. Currently, I’m writing a new fantasy adventure book about a lost continent. Along with all of that, I’m working on lining up more readings and interviews as well as perhaps being a guest host on a podcast. Lastly, I’m looking at some other media opportunities.

Well, my lovely Scribblers remember to like this post below (click on the heart) and please help spread the word by sharing this blog post on your social media platforms it really does help and I greatly appreciate all the love and support you send my way. Got a question for leave it below in the comments or you can email me at info@mdneu.com. Until next time have a great week.

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2018-2019 Rainbow Awards

Happy Wednesday Scribblers have I got some amazing news to share with you this week. Over the last year several of my books have been part of the Rainbow Awards, and this weekend the award winners were announced. I won in several categories and received some wonderful Honorable Mentions, check it out:

The Calling - Two Honorable Mentions and came in third place for Best Gay Debut Book (click here to view all the winners).

Here’s what the judges said:

"This book, by far, was the best read. The emotional connection between the characters and story were paced very well and the story, as a whole, was awesome. I hated to see this end with no word if there will be more."

"I enjoyed this interesting twist on vampires, and particularly liked the idea of the choice of light or dark. The final showdown rocked, and had me turning pages. The characters are interesting, although they feel a little emotionally detached at times, yet this does mesh with the perspective of the MC narrator."

Buy the book here.

Contact-A New World Book 1- Two Honorable Mentions, Winner for Best Gay Alternative Universe/Reality & Sci-Fi/Futuristic, and came in twelfth place for Best Gay Book (click here to view all the winners).

Here’s what the judges said:

"This is a well written story and pulled me in from the beginning. I like sci fi stories that keep me wondering and this is just what Contact does. Can’t wait to see what happens in book two."

"An excellent book that I'd highly recommend to readers of the genre it had me laughing crying and praying for the characters. A book I thought about often for a long time after I'd read it."

Buy the book here.

Conviction-A New World Book 2 - Three Honorable Mentions, Winner for Best Gay Alternative Universe/Reality & Sci-Fi/Futuristic (click here to view all the winners), and came in third for Best Gay Book (click here to view all the winners).

Here’s what the judges said:

"I loved this story. It was fortunate that I had already read the first book Contact, as this next installment flows seamlessly into the next section of the tale. Todd is the perfect 'everyman'. I completely connected with the character, and Neu had me turning pages wanting to discover how he fairs in his precarious new position as an emissary to an alien race, and in his burgeoning new interspecies romance! There are a lot of parallels here to be tied to our current world, which made the book even more appealing, and without being preachy, really sent home the message of kindness, love, bravery and doing what's right. I highly recommend not only the book but the series."

"I read this book in one session. A well-rounded sci-fi story that I could imagine as a movie. "

"The two books in this series are easily among the best books I've read in 2019. They have everything I want from a Sci-Fi book. An emotional roller coaster with twists and turns and world building. They are excellently written."

Buy the book here.

As you can imagine, I couldn’t be more please. If you want to help me celebrate, you can share this news via the share button below. Let’s get the word out so folks don’t miss out on these award winning books. If you have questions or comments please share them below and I’ll jump back over and respond. As always don’t forget to share and like this post. Until next time have a great week.

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Holiday Traditions

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I hope you all had an amazing couple of weeks. If you haven’t already seen a post about it, one group I belong to (The Sparkly Badgers) is doing a month long giveaway. Each day you can download a new free eBook. This is a great way to find some new authors who you may not have found otherwise.  The books are free and you can get a new book each day, with the last book being given out on December 25, 2019. 

To access the Sparkly Badger’s Christmas Advent Calendar click here.

This is the second year I’ve taken part in such an event, so it’s becoming a bit of a tradition for me. This got me wondering what kinds of Holiday Traditions do you have (share them in the comments section below)?

My family and I have several traditions and today I figured I would share with you. First, we bake cookies. Not a few cookies but several dozens of quite a few varieties (chocolate chip, peanut butter, snicker doodles, lemon delights, etc.) After we back them we give them out as gifts each year. It is a fun tradition, that I will admit I don’t always feel like doing, but in the end we have a great time and it always helps to get me in the holiday spirit. Over the years the day of baking has grown from a family event to include several friends. I’m sure there will be photos so I’ll be sharing those over on Instagram (if you’re not following me, you should, I post all kinds of family friendly photos over there) here is where you can find me: authormdneu

Second, we cook wontons. I know it sounds strange, but ever sense I was a kid my cousin and her family made them. Then over time my mother, sister and I picked it up. Now it’s my husband and my father. It’s a blast and we always have a good time, even if we end up being exhausted by the end of the day.

Lastly, this is a much more recent tradition, my husband and I will host a holiday party for family and friends. It’s a great way for us to connect with folks who we may not have seen in a while. We have hors d’oeuvres, mulled wine, cider, and deserts (typically homemade cookies).

Those are some of what me and my family do during the holiday season. What do you and your family do? Let me know in the comments below. Remember, you can like and share this post, which makes a difference in helping me reach new readers. Well, until next time have a great week.

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What to Share – Siblings and Family

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, can you believe we are little over a month away from Christmas and the end of 2019. It’s been an insane year with so much happening and now we are slowly marking to the end of it all… Wow!

This week I wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for all your support, not only over the last several years, but over the last few months. Some of you may know that I lost my sister to cancer a few months ago. I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been difficult. Most of the time I’m fine, but really I’m not. Every day I have to remind myself that just because she is gone from our physical world doesn’t mean she is gone. She’s still in my heart and in my memories. She is there with my mom and everyone else who has gone before.

Today, if you’ll indulge me, I thought I would share what I wrote for her memorial (it was this past weekend). Some of you may have seen it already posted on my Facebook Fan Page or in a post on Facebook. Still I wanted to share it here:

Dawn Marie Neu (Cooper)

Dawn and I at my nieces wedding.

Fifty-seven years, that’s not very long in the grand scene of things; however in Dawn’s life she made every moment count. She was a daughter, grand-daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, 4-H All Star, Letterman in Swimming, DECA member, wife, mother, contractor, designer, Lion, partner, volunteer, grand-mother, and much more. Fifty-seven years may not be a long life, but when you live as full as Dawn did, you don’t need anymore. Dawn made the most out of her life living it to the fullest, always having fun and bringing a bright light to the world, not only around her, but also beyond her immediate touch. Whether it was a vacation with the family, business trips, day trips, parties, or simple visits with family and friends, Dawn never failed to brighten a room with her smile and warm personality. We can’t be sad for someone who had such a wonderful heart, joy for life, and bright light about them, because not even death can extinguish such life. Dawn will live on in our smiles, our laughter, and every time we think of her silliness and sense of humor.

Today, we aren’t sad, but joyful. We celebrate her life and all the people whose lives she lifted near and far, including those lives that none of us will ever learn about, of which, knowing Dawn, there are many.

As you all know, Dawn wasn’t about anything fancy. She was about family, laughter, good food, great friends and fun times. In the spirit of celebration this is how Dawn will be remembered. She will be the light at every party, the sparkle in our eyes and, of course, that extra spice in something delicious we enjoy together.

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I wanted to say this to anyone who is reading this and who is lucky enough to have a sibling still alive:

Family is a pain in the ass. We all know this. We all know that we can work each other nerves and that if anyone can drive us to the crazy house faster, it’s family. However, despite all the garbage we put each other through, siblings are the only ones who know what they have been through. They have a shared history and are the only ones who understand their parents, for good, or for bad. Siblings, not only fight each other, but fight for each other. I know that some people grow apart; I know that for some family is a source of great pain, I also know that for others it’s best they keep clear of their families, and I know that for some they have no siblings at all.

Dawn, Mom, and me with Mickey Mouse

I only had my sister for 48 years, and I can tell you it wasn’t enough and I can also tell you that despite our strong relationship there is much I wish I could have still shared with her. Just like mom (who I only had for 37 years), no day will go by where I don’t think about her. What I’m saying here today is, if you are able to be part of your family’s life, do it, even if it’s just a phone call, text message or whatever, don’t let any more time pass between you, because our time is fleeting and when the final goodbye comes, it will be too late.

Well, Scribblers be kind to each other, love your families, forgive them if you can, and enjoy them while they are still around. Remember, if you have questions for me leave them in the comments below or you can email me at info@mdneu.com Don’t forget to show your love by liking and sharing this blog post with other readers. In the meantime have a great week and see you next time.

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My Favourite Sci-Fi Properties by Matt Doyle

When M.D. Neu invited me to come back to his site, we had a chat about what sort of post to do. In the end, we settled on my talking a little about some my favorite Sci-Fi properties. Now, I’m an author, but I’m not going to directly mention books too much here. The thing with the franchises includes is that most of them do have books attached. I want to talk about franchises as a whole though, with a focus on how I first discovered them, regardless of the medium. So, let’s dive in!

Live-Action TV

Star Trek: The Next Generation – My first sci-fi love. When I first started watching the show, it was already a few seasons in, so I missed the whole pre-growing-the-beard-in bits originally. Everything about it really stuck with me though. The characters were great, the stories were cool, and I loved the futuristic multi-cultural society within the Enterprise. Picard remains my favorite Captain – and I’m super excited for the upcoming series – but there wasn’t anyone that I disliked in this.

Farscape – In my opinion, one of the more underrated sci-fi shows. The big selling point of the show was that it was using puppet work rather than just doing CG for everything, and boy did that risk pay off! To this day, I still feel like you forget that some of the characters are puppets, and just view them as people. Alien people, but people, nonetheless. The show had some wonderful concepts too, like the idea of living ships that can give birth and the way they’re connected to their pilot.

Battlestar Galactica (2004) – I never saw much of the original series, only catching snippets of the occasional episode here and there before Buck Rogers. This remake though…wow! I was hooked from the get-go, loving the dark story tones, enjoying the battles, and falling in love with the characters. Honestly, if either Starbuck or Gaius Baltar were on screen, I was happy. They both had awesome story arcs. Okay, and they were both nice to look at too. The main thing though is that I really loved the way it all played out.

Anime

Ghost in the Shell – The 1995 film is one of those masterpieces that, even if the animation is a little dated, still holds up well today. From the sprawling cyberpunk cityscapes to the high octane action, it was – and still is – something special. The Tv series that follows Standalone Complex 1st Gig and 2nd Gig was also excellent, updating the animation for a more modern market. It also touched on Matoko Kusanagi’s bisexuality a little bit more too, though never making it the focus of the show.

Psycho Pass – Another cyberpunk masterpiece from Japan, this time focusing on a Utopian society that isn’t really. This was a show that I saw long after its release, and I’m really glad I finally got to see it. The Crime Coefficient concept is a really interesting one, and the longform story that the first season tells is a wonderful mix of philosophy and memorable characters.

Children’s Franchises

Sonic the Hedgehog – Now, how you classify this one may vary a little. The trick is to look at the complete universe rather than just the early games. That way, not only do you have Dr. Eggman/Dr. Robotnik and his advanced tech machines, but you also have a whole lot more. There’s aliens, genetic creations, massive mechs and alternate dimensions! Regardless, Sonic has been with me since my childhood and I’m still very kind to the Blue Blur. I still love the franchise and buy the new games the first chance I can get, I still collect the comics, and I even cosplay some of the characters. As to why I love it so much? As a kid, it was colorful fun that spanned games, comics and cartoons. As an adult, there’s a touch of nostalgia, sure, but I adore the extended universe. The bigger tales they’re telling, the massive cast, it’s all so much fun!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Another franchise that has been with me since childhood, and spanned multiple incarnations over games, comics and cartoons. This is a bit more cut and dry in terms of classification with the mutagenic ooze and Dr. Stockman’s machines, I think. This is still a favorite because I feel like it has grown with me. The simple stories that aired in my childhood fit my age bracket, and as I got older, I found that the comics touched on more complex themes. As an adult, I enjoyed the CG animated series from Nickelodeon; it balanced being child friendly with references for the adults well. My favorite though is the current comics. I wouldn’t recommend them for kids given the darker tone, but my word they are phenomenal!

Cross-Over

Alien vs. Predator – So, I love both franchises individually. Alien 1 and Alien 3: The Assembly Cut are among my favorite films. The same can be said for Predator 1 & 2. When it came to the cross-over films, things were a bit mixed for me. The first AvP film was, in my opinion, underrated. The second was mostly disappointing. No, for me, the best AvP release are SD Perry’s novels. Machiko Noguchi’s story in the novels AvP: Prey and AvP: War was absolutely fascinating as she dealt with xenomorphs and tried to integrate with the Yautja. Both are great reads. I’d recommend avoiding Hunter’s Planet though.

Honorable Mentions

RoboCop – My Nan’s favorite film was RoboCop. She even called her dog Murphy after the titular character. Looking at it, the original film is really quite a wonderful piece though. I once heard it described as a smart film pretending to be a dumb film (the remake was described as the opposite). It is also generally taken that some of the themes around large corporations have become reality to a degree too. In that respect, it’s an enjoyable film with a mildly prophetic nature. And an awesome earworm of a theme song. Honestly, I enjoyed the second film too.

Ancestor by Scott Sigler – This is the only item on the list that is a standalone rather than a full-blown franchise. I picked up this book because it was described as Jurassic Park meets Predator. It didn’t disappoint. It basically tells the story of a team that trying to recreate the ancestor of all humanity in order to harvest organs for life saving operations. As it happens though, the ancestors aren’t exactly friendly. It has a wonderfully likable cast of characters, the action is excellent, and the conclusion is plenty satisfying.

So, there’s my list. There are plenty that I missed, like Terminator and new Dominion Tank Police, but on a whole, I think that’s pretty solid. But what about yourselves? What do you think of the titles listed above? What would you include?

Thank you to Matt Doyle for stopping over to share his favorite Sci Fi stories. Remember to like and share this post below. Until next time have a great week.

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About Shadows of the Past

PI Cassie Tam is not the only person who lives with regrets, and like most people, she just wants to get on with her life. But in New Hopeland, the past never remains buried. When she’s hired to track a stalker that’s been using some interesting tech to mask their identity on the city’s security cameras, Cassie ends up face-to-face with her darkest memory.

Can Cassie find out who’s responsible before her past mistakes tear her – and her friends – apart?

Pre-order Now: NineStar Press

AUTHOR BIO

Matt Doyle is a speculative fiction author from the UK and identifies as pansexual and genderfluid. Matt has spent a great deal of time chasing dreams, a habit which has led to success in a great number of fields. To date, this has included spending ten years as a professional wrestler, completing a range of cosplay projects, and publishing multiple works of fiction.

These days, Matt can be found working on multiple novels and stories, blogging about pop culture, and plotting and planning far too many projects.

Website - Twitter - Instagram - Pinterest - Facebook - LinkedIn

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Three Year Bookaversary! The Reunion

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. As I touched on last week this is the three year anniversary of my novella The Reunion. This short little ghost story was what wet the appetite of readers and introduced me to the reading community. Before my debut novel The Calling came out, The Reunion was picked up by my publisher NineStar Press and released as part of their Halloween Anthology. It was an exciting moment for me. I had never done anything like this before and it was a huge step outside of my comfort zone.

I remember worrying that no one would buy the eBook. They did. Then, I was worried Readers would hate the story. They didn’t. Then, I was terrified people would hate me and my writing. Luckily that didn’t happen either.

As of this posting The Reunion is:

21st on Goodreads List of Short Reads

295th on Goodreads List of Best Gay Paranormal Book

183rd on Goodreads List of Best M/M Novellas, Short Stories

I really couldn’t be more pleased with how well this wonderful novella has done. Okay, well if they were number one that would be pretty freaking cool.

Anyway, today is The Reunion’s third birthday so how about going out there and picking up a copy and showing it some love. It’s less than $3 for the eBook and it’s a fun read that will get you into the Halloween Spirit for sure. Buy your copy from one of the many online retailers here. Do you need more convincing? Click here for the reviews.

Here is the story blurb:

It’s been twenty years since the quiet Midwestern town of Lakeview was struck by tragedy. But every year on the anniversary of the event Teddy returns home for ‘The Reunion’. Lakeview, like Teddy, has secrets and not all mysteries should come to light.

If you’ve read The Reunion and want to help celebrates its third birthday, share this link below and tell your friends and family all about it and why you love Teddy and his friends. What’s your favorite ghost story? Let me know in the comments below. Until next time have a great week.

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Am I Really a Fraud and a Failure?

Wow! A new month, October no less. This time of year happens to be my personal favorite. However, these past few weeks a blanket of sadness has covered me and my family as I have lost my sister, Dawn, to cancer. It has been a challenging time, and each day has both highs and lows. These past few weeks have seen more lows than highs, and I have taken many moments to stop and ponder my writing and what I’m doing. I debated quite a bit about this blog post, but I finally decided I would post it and share some of my thoughts about this writing adventure I’ve been on.  So, here we go.

This month is special as back on October 23, 2017 my first short story was published by NineStar Press. The story in question, The Reunion, it’s my first short story and if you aren’t familiar with the plot here is the brief blurb:

It’s been twenty years since the quiet Midwestern town of Lakeview was struck by tragedy. But every year on the anniversary of the event Teddy returns home for ‘The Reunion’. Lakeview, like Teddy, has secrets and not all mysteries should come to light.

This time period was special for a different reason a darker reason, it was also around this time that we learned that Dawn had a cyst on her neck that needed to be removed. We would find out later that it was cancer.

This is me with my sister Dawn. I often say that my husband, Eric, is my biggest supporter, and he is, however, Dawn was my fist Champion and Protector.

When it came to my short story, I remember being thrilled. Of course I told Dawn, and she was as excited as I was. I wasn’t able to believe that anything I wrote would ever be published. She of course never doubted me.

I still have these feelings two years later, but now she is no longer here to remind me that I am good enough.

With The Reunion coming out I knew I had one more short story coming out in December 2017, A Dragon for Christmas (which was dedicated to her and my niece), and in January 2018 my debut novel, The Calling would be launched. So much was happening, and it was crazy roller coaster ride. At the time I had a group of wonderful people around me helping me work through planning a launch party and helping me set up all the back end details that are associated with being a Writer. With these amazing people including my sister and the rest of my family, I could be more excited.

It was great.

Fast forward to today and here I am, I have four novels out, and two short stories. I’m currently working on the edits for the next novel in my A New World series Conspiracy and I’m working on the edits for the sequel to The Calling. This is all amazing. I’ve accomplished something that hundreds, if not thousands, of people are never able to do, and I’m grateful. I count myself as a lucky man.

But as I mentioned, Dawn isn’t physically here to share in my joy anymore and that is difficult.

By now you are probably wondering why the title of this post is called Feeling like a Fraud and a Failure. Well, because if I’m honest I feel like a fraud and a failure, since October 2017 I’ve learned a lot about the writing and publishing world. I’ve also learned about and met so many amazing authors who tell these stories that touch your soul, and here I am writing fluff. I’m not complaining, I love my stories and I love the writing I’m able to share with people, however, my writing is mind candy, it doesn’t really do anything for you, it’s enjoyable for the moment and just as easily forgotten when you are finished.

I think part of all this, has to do with the loss of Dawn, I know she is still around me spiritually. She is still, of course, cheering me on, but I miss being able to call her and talk to her on the drive home. Somehow talking to her reminded me of my specialness.

I never set out to be a serious, hard-hitting author who tells stories that make you think. I’ve only wanted to write stories that are fun and take you on an adventure.

Now, I sit here wondering why. Why not write something profound? Why not write something with meaning? Why not write something that will change the world? Why not write something that makes a difference? The answer I come up with is that I’m a fraud. I’m not a real author, real authors write those kinds of stories, but I don’t. I’m the empty calories you enjoy for the moment then when you’re finished you wonder why you ate that candy at all.

I think, as writers, we all want our work to have some kind of meaning. Some kind of impact on people or on society. Part of my writing journey has been listening to other authors share their stories some write to make a difference, some write to be famous, some write to make money, some write for fun.

Why do I write?

I like to think I write to tell good stories that people can relate to, but looking back on what I’ve written I wonder are they good stories that people can relate to? Are they anything more than just a random collection of words on a page that a few people will enjoy? Does it matter? Mostly, I wonder why I feel like I’m a fraud and a failure when I’ve accomplished more in my writing in the last two years than most people will every accomplish?

Dawn, was older than me and I always wanted her to be proud of me. I know she is, I saw it the last time I went to visit her and brought her copies of my books and she cried, because she was so excited. I know she supported me in what she shared on Social Media about me and my silly little collection of words.

Please, forgive this whining and this moment of reflection I don’t want anyone who reads this (all five of you, including my husband) to think I’m unhappy or ungrateful, because I’m not. I wake up every day look at the copies of my physical books sitting on their little stands and remind myself of what I’ve accomplished and how blessed I really am.

I think, today, as we are getting closer to my family’s private memorial for my sister, all of this is hitting me hard, because it’s all becoming more and more real to me.

Thank you for letting me share this. I shall step out of the light and move on to brighter topics and continue to remind myself of what I’ve done. I won’t just be doing this for me, I’ll be writing for my sister too, because I can’t let her down, she has faith in me and my writing and that is pretty powerful, well, at least to me. Tell me do you ever feel like you are a fraud or a failure in what you do? Do you have moments of doubt and indulge in a little self-pity? Do you have someone in your life who reminds you to keep following your dream? Share your comments below and let me know that I’m not the only one who feels like this.  In the meantime have a great week and see you next time.

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Mother of Words – By Claire Buss

Being an indie author is a lot like being a mum. I have two wonderfully challenging, sometimes obtuse, often hair pulling, irritating, confounding and then randomly awesome WIPs (works in progress). I also have two children – haha! The key juggling point is time. Time to think, write, edit, format, publish and promote my beloved books on top of keeping two smalls alive and well. It’s a lot. And I get grumpy when I can’t write when inspiration is knocking and then I get guilty for being the grumpy mum.

All that aside, I love and adore being a writer. My kids aren’t too bad either! It’s both challenging and rewarding and when you get a moment to catch your breath you suddenly realise how much you’ve achieved and how far you’ve come. You get that ‘wow’ moment.

Three years ago, I was not a writer. Today, I have 15 published titles and it is my business. I am a multiple award-winning author who is beginning to earn a small crust as a result of my imaginations. That is a thrill like no other. There are people out there who have never met me, I don’t know them and yet, they have picked up one of my books, read it and enjoyed it. I think that will always be a source of joy for me.

My latest projects include working on Haunted, an anthology of Halloween inspired short stories and poems written by a group of very talented indie authors. It is the second Sparkly Badgers anthology and the first one that I’ve been solely in charge of and the pressure was intense. Obviously, I wanted good writing in the anthology but also there was an element of imposter syndrome as I wondered – who am I to say yes or no to other writer’s submissions. In the end, I enlisted some help for the selection process from Brent A. Harris, one of the Inklings Press guys who himself is a great writer and incredibly generous with his time and expertise. 

Haunted will be released at the end of September and will be a free ebook which is very exciting. All the authors involved in the anthology will have the book to giveaway in their newsletters, competitions and giveaways and I can’t wait to find out what readers think of the spooky tales. 

Here’s the blurb:

Join us on a pumpkin spiced, ghost-riddled, spooky journey amongst the imaginations of fifteen horrifyingly excellent indie-authors. Let them take you on a candle-lit journey through the minds of the depraved, departed and desperate as they tell you their haunting tales. Lock the doors, close the curtains and don’t turn off the light! 

You may be asking who on earth are the Sparkly Badgers? Allow me to introduce them – they are a collection of indie-authors who get together on Facebook and support each other with their writing endeavours. We share marketing tips, promote other authors, give shout-outs for new books upcoming, have a weekly critique spot, flash fiction prompts and writing exercises to improve our craft, a weekly blog share and of course the Sunday check in where I make sure everyone is alright and that cake has been eaten. Very important! If you’d like to join the Sparkly Badgers group, come find us on Facebook. We also have another anthology available to buy and all profits go to the Avon Riding Centre for the Disabled. The Sparkly Badgers’ Christmas Anthology is available on ebook and paperback at mybook.to/SBxmas. 

The other project I’m working on at the moment is the third in my hopeful dystopian series, The Gaia Solution. Beta readers are hopefully enjoying the first part of the book while I scramble to finish writing the second half of the book – I’m afraid the summer holidays beat me on time management this year. In addition to working on that, I’m also gearing up to go wide with books one and two so The Gaia Effect and The Gaia Projectwill be available on Nook, Kobo, iBooks as well as Amazon and a whole plethora of independent book outlets plus large bookstores like Barnes & Noble and Waterstones. The Gaia Solutionwill obviously join them and there will be a box set and an audio book collection in the semi-near future. 

Here’s the blurb, or at least, this is the blurb at the moment lol:

Kira, Jed and their friends have fled New Corporation and joined the Resistance, but their relief is short lived as they discover how decimated the human race has become and learn of an environmental crisis that threatens to destroy everyone’s safety. Kira and Jed must travel up the mountain to the New Corporation stronghold, City 50, to bargain for sanctuary while Martha and Dina risk everything to return to City 42 and save those who are left. Gaia, the fading spirit of the Earth, uses her remaining influence to guide Kira and her friends but ultimately, it’s up to humanity to make the right choice. 

It’s been a real roller coaster writing this series because The Gaia Effect was my debut novel, my first book baby to be released into the wide-world and really, the first time I’d ever let anyone read my work. I have always loved reading and making up stories, I loved writing stories and poetry as a young girl but life, as if often does, got in the way and my writing was set aside. It wasn’t until I had my son and found, by chance, a local writers’ workshop at my library that my passion for story telling was reignited. I took a break after writing The Gaia Effect and wrote a completely different genre, a humorous fantasy novel, The Rose Thief, inspired by my love of Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld. In between these two books I’ve released collections of short stories and flash fiction as well as poetry books and had short stories published in other anthologies. 

The Gaia Solution isn’t up for pre-order yet but if you want to be kept in the loop you should sign up for my author newsletter - http://eepurl.com/c93M2L. You’ll get a free copy of The Blue Serpent& other tales, my flash fiction collection, as well as Ye Olde Magick Shoppe, a short story from my humorous fantasy world, Roshaven. If everything goes to plan, The Gaia Solutionwill be out this November. In the meantime, you can get your hands-on book one, The Gaia Effect, at mybook.to/gaiaeffect and book two, The Gaia Project, at mybook.to/gaiaproject. 

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I can be found lurking on Facebook in my author group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/BussBookStop/and you can follow me on Twitter @grasshopper2407. My website has the details of all my books and various other projects including the first chapters of bothThe Gaia Effectand The Rose Thiefso be sure to check it out at www.cbvisions.weebly.com.

Thank you, Claire, for stopping by and sharing a little about yourself and your books. Scribblers you need to go out, right now, and grab these books. They are amazing, and a lot of fun to read. Remember you can help out both Claire and I by liking and sharing this post with your readers friends. If you have a question for Claire leave it below and she’ll swing by and answer it. Until next time have a great week.

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Author Bio

Claire Buss is a multi-genre author and poet based in the UK. She wanted to be Lois Lane when she grew up but work experience at her local paper was eye-opening. Instead, Claire went on to work in a variety of admin roles for over a decade but never felt quite at home. An avid reader, baker and Pinterest addict Claire won second place in the Barking and Dagenham Pen to Print writing competition in 2015 with her debut novel, The Gaia Effect, setting her writing career in motion. She continues to write passionately and is hopelessly addicted to cake.

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