Writing Update April 2023

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I hope you are all having a great week. It’s been a minute since I provided a writing update, so I thought I would give you an update today on what’s happening in my writing world and I have a new project that I’m excited to share with you. I also have a fun giveaway announcement that I can’t forget to tell you about.

As you all may have seen, I finished Mu; Legend of a Lost City and I got some amazing feedback from my Beta Readers, which is always helpful. Today I’m thrilled to be able to share the current blurb with you, keep in mind the blurb may change:

For years, the whispers and legends of a lost city hiding in the Pacific Ocean were just that; legend. On the day Kaimi discovers his parents, the Queen and King of Mu, murdered, Mu’s most powerful weapon fired, sending a pulse rushing towards the North American west coast.

After the 2025 Great Pacific Pulse Event, or Pulse, vomited up much of humankind’s trash in the Pacific Ocean along the North American west coast. The mysterious occurrence causing the largest environmental disaster in human history, people are no longer certain there is nothing concealed in the depths of the ocean. Scientist Karen Linn and billionaire investor Michael Donovan want to find out what actually happened that day five years ago. Will Michael’s life in the adult entertainment industry and Karen’s moniker in pseudoscience keep them as social pariahs, or are they on the cusp of finding a civilization that has been kept out of our grasp, deep in the world’s largest ocean? How does the event from five years ago tie into the murder of the Queen and King of Mu? What lies under the sea may be bigger than anyone can imagine, and neither civilization may be ready for the truth.

What do you think? Are you excited for the book to come out? I know I am. Let’s hope my publisher is as well. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Next up, I’m really excited to announce that I’ve been quietly working on my next project. Now you might think that I’m talking about the last book of my A New World series and you would be partially correct. However, over the last several weeks I’ve been working on something else. Something new. Something I’m excited to announce to you today.

A Haunted House (Working Title)

I’ve been researching and speaking with various folks about writing a new suspense novel about a modern-day haunted house that takes place here in the heart of Silicon Valley. I don’t want to give too much away at this point but what I can share is the following:

  • A family moves into their brand-new dream home in a new neighborhood in San Jose, CA

  • Events happen that bring a whole neighborhood together in fear and in the unexplained

  • How will this new community of strangers and neighbors deal with the paranormal that is afflicting them and their surroundings. Is this a single apparition, a haunting, a poltergeist, or something worse, a demon?

  • Will they find help and turn their nightmares back into their dreams?

For my inspiration I want to share a picture of a dreamy suburban home that has always brought joy to me. If you know, you know.

If you know, you know.

Oh… I almost forgot. I’m part of some free short story giveaways this month (April 2023), so if you are looking for a wide selection of free short stories then check out these giveaways. There is something for everyone:

Secrete Confessions

(click on the image to browse the list of books)

Short Story April

(click on the image to browse the list of books)

Show us Your Shorts

(click on the image to browse the list of books)

That is my writing update this week. Don’t forget to check out the different short stories and claim your freebees. Remember to leave your comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts on my latest projects. Until next time, have a great week.

The Issue with Drag

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I’ve been thinking a lot about Drag and this latest trend, and especially the vote in Tennessee, to ban this art form. I have so many feelings about this attack on Drag and I’m not sure what to do with them. Today I thought I would share my thoughts and see what you all think.

To start Drag has been around since Ancient Greece, maybe not in the form we know it today, but Drag came to be, because women in ancient western cultures were often not allowed to perform onstage or become actors, so men and boys were used instead to fill the female rolls. Also, men and boys were expected to dress as women for many religious ceremonies and rituals. Having men play the rolls for women was commonplace, however there are some who don’t feel this is where ‘true’ Drag came from. Still, if that is the case, then Drag may have come to be in the 1800s with forms of entertainment such as minstrel shows and Shakespeare’s plays, as Shakespeare often incorporated male actors as female impersonators. Either way, Drag has been around a long time.

Some seem to believe that Drag is new. But it’s not. Drag has been around and in pop culture since Vaudeville, even making appearances on television (here in the US) in the 1950s. Milton Berle and Bob Hope did several TV shows in Drag. Then you had Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in Drag in the movie Some Like it Hot.

As we move forward to more current times, Bugs Bunny was in children’s cartoons (starting in 1939 and continuing today) in Drag. M.A.S.H. had Klinger in a dress in almost every episode for eleven years (not to mention the movie). In the 80s you had Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari dressed in Drag every week for two seasons in the sitcom Bosom Buddies. In the 80s and 90s we had movies like Tootsie and Mrs. Doubtfire. There was Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. Who doesn’t know Dame Edna from Australia, or Agnes Brown from the U.K., or the late great Divine. We also have the talented actor Tyler Perry who brought to life Mable “Madea” Earlene Simmons, with how many movies and specials out there. By the way, Georgia can thank Mr. Perry and Madea for the movie industry they now have and reap the benefits off of, as Tyler Perry built his studio in Georgia (Tyler Perry Studios, 2006). And we cannot forget RuPaul, who has been on the scene in Drag since the 1980s. All these artists and entertainers (and so many more) continue to perform for the public. And not once have we heard this kind of outcry (at least when we are speaking of entertainment).

And here we are.

2023 and Tennessee has banned Drag Performances. To be clear, the ban is basically this; the bill that passed in Tennessee restricts “adult cabaret performances” in public or in the presence of children, and bans them from occurring within 1,000 feet of schools, public parks, or places of worship.  

Tennessee didn’t stop there either, but I don’t want to get into that now. Just know that other states are watching what happened in Tennessee and plan on pushing their own bills banning Drag through.

Why are we doing this?

The children… or that is their claim. These politicians want to protect kids from ‘big evil’ Drag queens who might… what? I don’t know. Maybe these people are hiding the fact they have fantasies about these drag artists. I’m sure Milton Berle and Bob Hope really get them hot and bothered. Or Madea. You never know. Anyway, none of this Drag outcry makes sense to me, since most of these persons pushing for these bills grew up watching Drag performances, of one form or another, their whole lives. Now Drag is the biggest problem in America… um no.

I don’t get it.

Politicians are focusing on the ‘Boogeyman in Drag’ because they believe they won’t get much flack and they can claim they are keeping their cities and states safer for ‘the children’, but are they? No.

This week Jon Stewart tore into GOP Senator Nathan Dahm (OK) on the subject of guns and tied the matter into Tennessee’s ban on Drag. You can watch the video here now I’m not a huge fan of Jon Stewart, but in this case, I was impressed with him and his remarks.

Now what?

I don’t know.

Like Eric and I talk about, is seems we are moving in the wrong direction as a country. We are attacking people and creating laws to hinder people’s rights. Sadly, it’s not just about Drag. It’s about so many other people’s rights and I’m not sure where and how this madness will stop. An interesting thought is if we are going backwards, then since Drag has been around since at the least the 1800s, then Drag will continue to be around and people will continue to enjoy the artform and the creative expression. Art finds a way and so does the queer community. Strap on your heels and glue down your wigs because this is going to be a bumpy ride… for us all.

Like I said at the start, I’ve been thinking a lot about Drag and everything that is happening these days and I don’t know where these thoughts are going or what is coming. Thank you for baring with me this week. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject, or any subject, as there seems to be a lot happening. Until next time, have a great week.

Cover Art

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. How is your day going? You all hanging in there? I thought today would be a good day to talk about cover art and cover design. There are some authors, and for the life of me I don’t understand, that don’t pay any attention to the covers that are used for their books. I’m not saying this is all authors. In fact, I have a feeling it’s only a small minority, but lately I’ve seen some awful covers. I don’t know if these terrible designs have to do with the sheer number of self-published books out there, but dear lord, if these books are being pushed out by publishing houses, then they should be ashamed of themselves. Especially with all the wonderfully talented graphic artists and designers to pick from.

I’m not going to share the bad covers I’ve seen, because what I don’t like someone may love.

However, consider this a public service announcement to all authors out there. If you are self-publishing your book, please pay attention to the cover. An amazing cover is one of the best ways to market and sell your book. Now, unless you are an extremely talented artist yourself, then pay to have something professionally done. Book covers tend to start at $50 (US) and go up from there. I’ve seen some wonderful covers at this lower price point. However, like with all things the more you pay the better (and more customizable) the cover can be.

One sure fire way to ensure you have a great looking cover, is to do a search for the best cover art in your genre.  It’s amazing what will pop up and give you some great ideas. When it comes to cover design, really do your homework. If you spent months and years working on your book, then spending a week or two to find and acquire the perfect cover for your book is well worth the investment. Especially since this is your introduction to new readers. Everyone will judge your book by the cover, despite what we’ve all been told.

Here is a link to a cover designer, Sleepy Fox Studio, I’ve used in the past (and I’m not getting anything for this, I only wanted to share one resource out there, but there are several artists who can do wonderful cover art for your book) click here.

What are your thoughts on book covers? Do you care what the cover looks like? Have you ever been put off from buying a book because of the cover? Or worse, have you ever bought a book based on the cover then hated the book? Let me know in the comments below. Until next time, have a great week.

Velma (HBO Max) – My Thoughts

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I hope you are all doing well today. I’m happy to report that today is the first full day we didn’t have any rain, since, I want to say, around Christmas. I don’t mind the rain, however it’s nice to see the sun. We are actually drying out a bit, especially after the thunder, hail and downpour we had yesterday. On the flip side, that means we’ve gotten, California cold, which means our lows are in the 30s at night and the low 50s during the day. 

Don’t laugh, when you aren’t from the snow, that can be cold. Plus, I’m delicate. 

Eric and I started watching Velma, this weekend and I wanted to share my thoughts on the first two episodes we’ve seen. I want to give the writers some credit here because if this wasn’t an origin story about a popular character from a hugely successful kid’s cartoon from the late 1960s and early 1970s the show is good. The characters are interesting and different. I loved the mixed of characters and the diversity. I enjoyed (especially in the first episode) them making fun of other modern TV shows, especially nudity. Both Eric and I had a chuckle at that. 

Unfortunately, Velma is not a new show. These aren’t new and fresh characters, these are characters that several generations (from Gen X forward) grew up with. This is the issue I’m having with the show so far. They have taken these characters we all know and love, then thrown them into a blender and we ended up with this mix of… well I’m not sure what to call it.  Let me give you some simple examples: 

  • Velma Dinkely: She’s a geek/nerd who has family trauma and a really unlikeable father. She’s a know-it-all and doesn’t like anyone. She thinks they are all idiots.

  • Daphine Blake: A ‘mean girl’ who you don’t like from the start and continue to dislike (she and Velma were BFFs until Daphine made friends with the popular girls. The best part about her character is she has two moms who are detectives (and not very good detectives at that).

  • Fred Jones: Ugh… a childish freak (sorry that is the best word I have to describe him). He is a rich pampered snob (he doesn’t even remember Velma’s name at first even though they go to school together). He can’t even cut his own food for himself. He too comes from an odd (read mildly abusive) family. The most interesting part of his character so far is, for some reason, he hasn’t gone through puberty and has an underdeveloped penis.

  • Norville "Shaggy" Rogers: He’s a friend of Velma’s who has a crush on her (he’s the most likable of the characters so far). I do like that they have him creating SM content about food, I thought that was clever and interesting.

  • Scooby-Doo: MIA. We haven’t seen or heard the namesake of the cartoon yet. WTF! 

Now, don’t get me wrong, the talent is giving their acting and these characters there all, which is wonderful to see. And I really appreciate all the diversity, as it modernizes this show for a new generation. The animation is excellent as well, so they are really putting out a visually beautiful work. Honestly, this should have been called something else, and I think they would have something quite good. Instead you, the viewer, are trying to watch the show and you keep getting pulled out of it with all the differences from the original source material. 

Eric and I will continue to watch the show, because it is interesting, but this is not Scooby-Doo by any stretch of the imagination. Will the series live or die? Will we actually get Scooby-Doo? I don’t know. But if you want to watch a dark gritty adult cartoon, then give Velma a watch. If you want something fun from your childhood run the other way and avoid at all cost. 

There you have it, my thoughts on the first two episodes of Velma (2023).  Have you watched Velma yet? What did you think? Did you watch Scooby-Doo (1969) as a kid? Let me know in the comments below. Until next time, have a great week.

Queer as Folk (2022) - Review

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I hope you are all having a wonderful day and taking care of yourselves. This week I wanted to share my thoughts on the new version of Queer as Folk (2022). Eric and I finally sat down to binge watch the drama, and since we finished the show, and since there won’t be a new season, I figured I would share my thoughts on this updated version of this innovative drama from 1999.

I was a huge fan of the British version of Queer as Folk, and I was excited to see them bring it to the US. When Queer as Folk came out, it was edgy and broke all the barriers that were in place and it was brilliant.

If you don’t know what Queer as Folk is, here is a brief summary of the show: The lives and loves of a group of gay friends living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

When I saw Peacock was planning on revamping and updating the show for 2022 I wasn’t sure if that needed to be done, but since Hollywood is all about remakes (with hits and misses) I figured I would give it a chance… then I read the reviews. Then I saw that the show wouldn’t be picked up for a second season. Because of this, we ended up waiting to watch since there wasn’t a rush.

The remake of Queer as Folk is basically this: It centers on a group of club-going friends who find support in the (New Orleans) gay community following a tragedy.

What I really liked about this show was how the writers really brought in the diversity. You want to see the rainbow, this show provides that. And there are some wonderful veteran actors who help bring credibility to the cast: Juliette Lewis, Kim Cattrall, and Ed Bagley, Jr. who all play strong supporting characters allowing the younger cast to shine. Everything about the casting was wonderful, and they impressed me. This is how Hollywood should cast our (the queer communities) stories.

Sadly, despite the wonderful cast and the strong acting, I found myself disappointed with the show. I had a hard time liking any of the characters (with a few exceptions; Bussey, Marvin, and Ali all stood out and I would have loved to see more of them and learn more of their stories). The characters we were meant to care about held no interest for me and I kept waiting for their scenes to end so we could go back to the side characters I loved. I’m not sure what the writers were trying to do with the major stars of the show. Were they writing drama for drama’s sake, because it wasn’t needed. They had so much to work with that they didn’t need to keep piling it on.

Maybe it’s the writer in me, wow can I say that? But I wanted more story and less drama. The series started with a bang and we got thrown in to all the characters’ lives, which was good, but before we even got to learn more about these people, they added more drama. Each episode kept adding to the fire (and not in a good way). They had some amazing plot points that they could have run with, especially with the diversity of the cast, but the writers chose to quickly wrap some of these large issues up with a few lines of dialogue before adding a bunch of new drama. Honestly, it was a mess and frustrating to watch in some parts.

Where the original Queer as Folk gave enough drama to keep the show interesting (while hitting on topical subjects for the time period) this new version didn’t give us a chance to meet these characters and learn about them, so we could actually care about them.

One bright spot that I loved was learning some of the back story between Ruthie and Brodie. They handled those moments so well; it made me more annoyed that they didn’t do that with everyone.

I want to call out Ryan O’Connell (who played Julian). He did a wonderful job with the few bits and pieces they gave him. Ryan was the writer and star of Special, which I adored. If you haven’t watched Special do so, as Ryan was excellent in the show and it’s a lot of fun. I also loved the scenes with him and Nyle DiMarco. I wouldn’t mind seeing the two of them in a movie or TV show together. Their chemistry together worked for me.

Despite my disappointment with the show, it’s worth watching. Eric actually really enjoyed it, so it might be a me thing. Maybe Peacock will give it another look, make a few changes and bring it back, but I’m not sure. Either way, I would watch a new season.

There you have it, my thoughts on Queer as Folk (2022). Have you watched Queer as Folk (any of the versions)? What did you think? Did you like them, hate them, or what? Let me know in the comments below. Until next time, have a great week.

2022; Year in Review

Happy New Year everyone and happy Wednesday Scribblers. It has been a crazy year, and today I thought I would do a year in review, and share all the things that brought me joy this year. I also thought I would share a few things that may or may not be on your radar, which I hope you will all check out and support.

First and foremost, as I hope you all know I’ve had two new books come out this year; Conspiracy-A New World (Book 3) (click here) and Volaria (click here), I was also part of three anthologies this year as well; Save the World: Twenty Sci-Fi Writers Save the Planet (click here), BAQWA Presents: Two (click here), and Horror Addicts Guide to Life 2 (click here). There was a lot of writing this year, which always brings me joy. I’m thrilled to be involved with all these other incredible authors. I’ve learned so much from each of them, and I believe that has improved my writing greatly.

This year, I returned to in person events and boy did I miss them. I didn’t attend too many events, but the ones I did go to were a joy to attend. This year I attended: The Hayward Lit Hop, The Bay Area Book Festival, Davis Pride, and BayCon 2022. It was so good to see people in person and get to sign books and meet fans. I absolutely love being out and about seeing folks. I’m hoping to go to more events this year (click here to see my events page).

Publishing three more audiobooks this year was incredibly special for me. In 2022 I released: Contact-A New World (Book 1) and Conviction-A New World (Book2) as narrated by Steve Connor; and, The Calling as narrated by Vance Bastian. Both these actors/narrators are exceptionally talented and made the novel come to life. I could be more pleased with all the work that went into them. Find them here, on Audible and here on iTunes. You won’t be disappointed. I know I wasn’t.

What really made my year, was getting to contribute to some wonderful online and print publications. I had two articles featured on Pen to Print (find them here and here). I was asked to provide an article for the San Francisco Chronicle which was a huge honor (find it here). The East Bay Time did a write up about me and my two novels; Conspiracy and Volaria (click here). Lastly, I was interviewed on behalf of the Bay Area Queer Writers Association (BAQWA) for the Bay Area Berkley High Jacket (click here).

Another bright spot for me this year, was getting to be interviewed on Small Publishing in a Big Universe (find it here) and WROTE Podcast did me the honor of not only allowing me to come on and chat about my writing and my books (click here), but they also had me for the entire month of December as a guest reviewer for their holiday movie reviews, which was an absolute joy. Here are the links to each of the episodes:

Gayeen Froese (12/9/22) – click here (we review Christmas at the Ranch)

Faith Mosley (12/16/22) – click here (we review Happiest Season)

Kevin Klehr (12/23/22) – click here (we review The Holiday Sitter)

2022 Yearly Wrap-up (12/30/22) – click here (we review The Christmas House 2)

Being part of all these podcasts and YouTube channel interviews really got me excited about the possibilities, and what, if anything, I could do to help support the writing community. This year I launched my Writing Tips and Tricks for Authors on my YouTube Channel (find it here). I wanted to reach out to not only authors but to readers as well and share what it’s like to be a ‘real’ indie author and all the work that goes into it. These episodes are fifteen minutes (or shorter) and it’s been a lot of fun creating them and seeing the comments and reaction from folks. I’m already up to 30 subscribers but it would be great to reach 100 or even a thousand. Who knows. But if you want to keep up with me and get to hear and learn about writing I encourage you to check out the channel and see what you think.

The last thing that has brought me massive amounts of joy this last year, is each of you. Knowing that there are folks out there who love my writing and buy my books makes me happy and gives me the desire to keep going. 2023 Promises to be another crazy year, and I’ll have a new book (or two) coming out, so keep an eye out.

There you have it, my year in review. Here’s to 2023 and all that lays ahead of us. Until next time, have a great week.

Happy Holidays 2022

Happy Holidays 2022

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I want to take a moment and thank you all and wish you all a joyful holiday season. No matter what you celebrate, I hope you take time to rest, relax, and unwind. As with each year as it ends I want to share a simple Holiday message with you all:

Happy holidays! Sending you love, light, and laughter for good memories and a bright and healthy 2023. May you and your family stay healthful and may you see the light in a world that can be dark.

Until next time, be well, happy holidays, and have a great week.

Book Announcement and Happy Thanksgiving 2022

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. I want to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving (for those here in the US), and I want to share all the things I am thankfully for. Also, today I want to share my good friend, Glenn Quigley’s, newest holiday short story coming out on December 20, 2022; The Great Santa Showdown.

I want to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving, no matter how you are spending this day (and the weekend) I hope you get to take some time for yourself and be in the moment. Enjoy those you have around you, or enjoy the piece and quiet. As with this same time last year we all need to take these moments and be thankful for all the small things we have in our lives. This year I want to share all the things I’m thankful for:

  • My husband Eric, it’s hard to believe this year will be 24 years, but it is and I couldn’t be more pleased that we have had all these wonderful years together.

  • My Family, they can work each and ever nerve I have at times, but I’m thankful for each and every one of them.

  • My Friends, friendship is so important and I’m so blessed to have so many good friends in my life. It’s been great reconnecting with so many of them over the last few months. It’s been wonderful.

  • My home, it may not be the best place in the world but I like it and I’m thankful we have it.

  • My job, I have a great boss who I respect and have enjoyed working with all these years. For me it’s not about the work, but the people.

  • My writing, with each year that passes I find I love my writing more and more and I can’t imagine my life without it.

  • My health, I’ve lost about 70 pounds (or about 32kg). I can’t say I’m feeling any different then I did before I lost all the weight, but I look a lot better, so that is a big win.

  • Being able to travel, it has been so nice to travel again. We haven’t traveled as much as we used to, but we still take our trips and I’m looking forward to doing more in the coming year.

  • All the little things, there are so many small things I’m grateful for that I can’t name them all, but I’m very grateful for all of them.

What are you thankful for? If you’d like to share below I would love read it.

Now on to the book announcement. My good friend Glenn Quigley (learn more here), has a new holiday short story coming out: The Great Santa Showdown. The short story is up for preorder now (find it here) and will be out on December 10, 2022. Here is a bit about the short story.

 

A little town needs a big Santa, and both John and Gregory are ready to prove they’ve got what it takes. This Christmas, it’s time to sleigh the competition!

It's two weeks before Christmas and the official Santa Claus of the small town of Yuleboro is retiring. Bookstore owner Gregory has long dreamed of taking over the role. However, he's not the only one, as tree farmer John has been waiting his whole life for this opportunity. Alongside a host of other competitors, they’ll battle their way through a tournament designed to test the skills of any would-be Kris Kringles, and find it takes more than a belly and a beard to wear the red suit. And as Gregory and John go head-to-head in the first-ever Great Santa Showdown, it's not just the competition that heats up!

THE GREAT SANTA SHOWDOWN is a cozy short story inspired by watching way too many Hallmark movies and wondering why nobody ever falls for the gorgeous, cuddly Santa Claus. Gregory and John are in their sixties, both are bearded, burly, single, and gay. The setting is the small, all-American town of Yuleboro, where they do the holidays right. From Dasher’s Diner, to Sinterklaas Square, to Santa’s Jolly Olde Lodge, the whole town is a festive wonderland. So pull on your favorite sweater, pour yourself a cup of hot chocolate, and settle in for one great big bear hug of a story!



That’s all for now. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and until next time, have a great week.

October 2022 Events. Not to be Missed!

Happy Wednesday, Scribblers! I know, I’m a day early, but that is for a very good reason. This week I will be taking part in two different virtual events that I wanted to tell you about. The first event is on Wednesday (October 19th) and the second event is on Saturday (October 22nd).

On Wednesday (October 19th), I’ll be over with the folks from Perfectly Queer. Perfectly Queer Readings presents its Fall Fiction reading Wednesday, October 19 online from 7pm to 8pm Pacific. Hear Louis Flint Ceci, Cary Alan Johnson, and M.D. Neu read from their new novels via Zoom. Get the link by emailing perfectlyqueersf@gmail.com. Books are available at Fabulosa Books (find them here) in San Francisco or from your local bookstore.


On Saturday (October 22nd), I’ll be helping my buddy J.P. Jackson (learn more here) celebrate his birthday. Come join The Demon Horde in celebrating author J.P. Jackson’s Birthday with a massive Author Takeover Party!!

I’ll be speaking live (or in the group discussion depending on how the technology works that day) about my writing and my books. I’ll have a giveaway and other funs bits going on. I’ll be live starting at 2:30pm (MST) or 1:30pm (PST).

The event will be hosted on J.P. Jackson’s Facebook Page here.


Another event I’m excited to share, is that some of the amazing authors from BAQWA (The Bay Area Queer Writers Association, click here to learn more) will be in Benicia, Ca. celebrating Pride (just when you thought all the Pride events were over, nope, Benicia is hosting one). I won’t be at this event, but some great authors will be. So, if you are in the area, please stop by and say hello and check out their books. They will also be selling BAQWA’s second anthology: BAQWA Presents: Two (find more about the book here). This is a wonderful anthology and all the proceeds from the sale of this book go to support the Lavender Library in Sacramento, Ca. (learn more here).


Don’t forget to help the members of BAQWA support the Lavender Library this year, with it’s new anthology, BAQWA Presents: Two

Sit down and kick your feet up with your favorite warm beverage for fall. It's time for you to enjoy stories and poetry that reflect the number two.

The Bay Area Queer Writers Association is proud to present this year's collection of short stories and poetry featuring authors: M.D. Neu, R.L. Merrill, Liz Faraim, K.S. Trenten, Wayne Goodman, Richard May, Gar McVey-Russell, Vincent Traughber Meis, Michael Alenyikov, and Kelliane Parker. Sometimes you need to be able to sit back and let the words from the pages wash over you. See how these amazing authors spotlight the number 'two' in each of their works.

All proceeds from this limited-time anthology will be donated to the Lavender Library and Archives in Sacramento, California.

Get your copy here and don’t forget to leave a review here on Goodreads.


I hope I get to see you at one of these fantastic virtual events! It should be a lot of fun. Until next time, I hope you pick up one of my newest books (click here) and, most importantly, have a great week.

Historical Gay Fiction. Why It Matters. Guest Post – John Patrick

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. Today I’m thrilled to welcome fellow author John Patrick over to talk about Historical Fiction and M/M Romance. I couldn’t be more pleased to have this Lambda Literary Award Finalist author here today.

Welcome John!

Tell Us About Yourself.

I’m John Patrick (click here to learn more), author of four published m/m romance novels, with another on the way, and several more in various stages of completion. I’m currently working on the third book in my historical m/m romance Tides of Change series. The first book in that series—Dublin Bay (click here to learn more)—was a Lambda Literary Award finalist this year in the gay romance category.

I’m so happy M.D. Neu asked me to come say hello and to talk about the value of queer historical fiction for today’s readers. I thought I’d start by addressing some of the common questions I get about writing queer historical fiction. Let’s get going!

Why Historical Fiction?

Well, to start with, I like history. I think it’s fascinating to compare how things were in the past to how they are now, and to think about what’s better and what’s worse. Also, good historical fiction grounds us in a world that’s not make-believe (like a good fantasy novel, for instance), but also isn’t exactly our world either. It lets us see ourselves, but at a distance.

And that distance allows us to see our own challenges in a different light, perhaps even a light that illuminates a path forward that may have otherwise remained hidden.

Does it take a lot of research to write historical fiction?

Tons! But that’s all part of the fun. For instance, when I was writing Dublin Bay, I wanted to include a scene where the characters took a train from Dublin to Belfast. But the story takes place during World War Two, and Belfast—as part of the United Kingdom—was at war, while Dublin—as part of neutral Ireland—was not. So I had to figure out what kind of border crossing controls were in place between the two countries. It turns out there was a lot of cross-border smuggling going on, mostly of foodstuffs (think butter, milk and beer) from Ireland into Northern Ireland where there was much tighter rationing.

And of course, since I was writing about queer characters, I had to figure out what their lives would have been like, and how a modern reader might respond. In Dublin Bay, I wanted James and Otto to be likable, but they are necessarily living their lives “in the closet”—as we would say today—although the term didn’t exist then. At the time, all gay people were functionally in the closet. Queer culture was passed on from individual to individual, frequently from older to younger. I wanted to be true to the times without offending modern sensibilities.

Isn’t that a difficult balance? Do readers get angry about how gay people had to live?

Yes and yes! I did have one reader tell me they were upset that James and Otto couldn’t live openly as gay men. Well, sure. But that’s the value of historical gay fiction, I think. It allows us to see the vast arc of progress, and also how that progress is sometimes measured by two steps forward and one step back. For instance, as a young man in Germany, Otto learned about how open the gay culture was in Berlin prior to the Nazis coming into power. He was too young to have experienced that, so from his perspective, things are moving backward, not forward. James, on the other hand, is just beginning to understand that he needn’t live under the constraints of his religious Irish upbring, so he sees a future opening up.

History is complicated that way, and is experienced in different ways by different people.

Why do you think it’s important for today’s readers to see that?

I think perspective is always useful. And also, I like to show how possible it is, even under dire circumstances, to find happiness. James and Otto make a place for themselves in their world, even with all its risk and limitations. That’s a theme that runs through the book, and the sequel—Turtle Bay (click here to learn more). That we always need to strive to make the world that we need to be happy.

Speaking of Turtle Bay, why the Cold War as the back drop?

Oh, there are so many parallels to today! It feels sometimes like we’re at the start of a new Cold War, and that’s frightening. But it was also a time when people weren’t free to speak their minds, when conformity was expected and enforced.

The story takes place in 1947. It was an exciting time with so much potential! The war was over and America was at the top of its game. I chose to place the story in New York City because that’s where the future was unfolding. Thousands of young gay men flooded into the city after the war—men who knew they could never go back to their lives as they were before the war.

But even as it rose from the war, the country was turning toward a dark time. The FBI started investigating alleged communists throughout the country, and soon expanded their witch hunts to gay men as well.

Is this when McCarthyism started?

Surprisingly, no.

This is another great thing about historical fiction. In 1947, there was still plenty of time for the country to take a different path. But it didn’t, and informed readers will know what’s coming. By the time Senator McCarthy began holding his congressional hearings targeting communists and homosexuals in 1953 it was too late. The country had lost its collective footing by then.

But for Hans and Mason—the protagonists in Turtle Bay—they don’t know what’s coming, and they keep hoping it will get better. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t!

So is queer historical fiction just filled with disappointments?

On the contrary! My books are filled with hope and solutions. All of the characters in Dublin Bay and Turtle Bay overcome the constraints of their times to find love and meaning. And that really is the value of historical fiction. If James and Otto can find love in the midst of World War Two, and Hans and Mason can find love in the midst of the Cold War, then surely we can all find love today.

What was your biggest “ah-ha” moment writing queer fiction?

I think the thing that really resonated for me is the power of names and labels. We’ve all heard the phrase “the love that dare not speak its name,” but until I tried to write about the lives of queer people in the 1940s, to capture their thoughts and conversations, I hadn’t fully understood how disempowering it is to have no words describing who you are and how you love.

The word “gay” was only just coming into use during the 1940s, and wouldn’t become common for many years. “Homosexual”—a terribly clinical term—was the most common term applied, and that was usually accompanied by overtones of criminality and deviance. And for men like Hans from Turtle Bay, who enjoyed dressing in women’s clothes, the only word available—if one was to be used at all—was “invert.” It’s demoralizing and demeaning to be stripped of your identity and made invisible.

The point is illustrated by the following scene from Turtle Bay, which takes place in what we would today call a gay bar:

“There’s an invert here.” Mason lowered his voice even further when he said that, as if mentioning the word out loud would conjure one out of thin air.

“Invert,” Mannix said with disgust. Mason quickly realized the disgust was directed at him, not at the idea of inverts being in the bar. “Do you know how you sound when you use that word? You’re a sanctimonious prick; you know that, Mason?”

The insult stung, but it gave Mason pause. Why was he confronting Mannix in this manner? He knew places like this existed, and he knew Mannix was a homosexual. But it had all been so…theoretical. It hadn’t been put in front of him like this before.

“What am I supposed to call them?” Mason asked.

Mannix grimaced. “That’s just it, isn’t it? There’s no polite word for those men. It’s a way for society to deny their very existence; there’s not even a way to talk about them.”

But probably my biggest lesson from writing queer fiction is to always be aware of how far we’ve come. It’s natural, I think, to be focused on what needs to change, on problems that still exist, on inequities and injustices we need to address. And there sure are plenty of those.

But it’s also important to understand where we are—historically, to appreciate how incredibly far we’ve come. It’s encouraging and heartening to see our progress, and it should give us confidence and optimism as we face the challenges ahead.

And that, in my opinion, is what makes queer historical fiction so invaluable for today’s readers. 

What’s next for the Tides of Change series?

Book three—Havana Bay—is currently under development. Get ready to meet an adorable lector (someone whose job it is to read to workers in cigar factories—really, look it up) as he comes under the spell of a glamorous American in exile!

That’s it from me! Thanks again, M.D. Neu, for inviting me to chat with your readers. Happy reading, everyone!

Thank you so much John, for stopping by. I love hearing about all the ways we writers are able to craft our stories, and Historical Fiction is a great way to learn from the past and ensure we don’t make the same mistakes in the future. Well, that’s all for now, until next time have a great week.

John Patrick Bio:

Author John Patrick is a Lambda Literary Award finalist living in the Berkshire Hills of Massachusetts, where he is supported in his writing by his husband and  their terrier, who is convinced he could do battle with the bears that come through the woods on occasion (the terrier, that is, not the husband). An introvert, John can often be found doing introverted things like reading or writing, cooking, and thinking deep, contemplative thoughts (his husband might call this napping). He loves to spend time in nature—“forest bathing” is the Japanese term for it—feeling connected with the universe. But he also loathes heat and humidity, bugs of any sort, and unsteady footing in the form of rocks, mud, tree roots, snow, or ice. So his love of nature is tempered—he’s complicated that way.

John and his husband enjoy traveling and have visited over a dozen countries, meeting new people, exploring new cultures, and—most importantly—discovering new foods.


Summer 2022 Update

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. What a crazy couple of weeks it’s been. I don’t know how you all are feeling these days, but honestly, I’ve been up and down. I don’t want to make this a big huge rant (which is why I posted nothing last week) so let’s just keep it at; the world is in flux and I’m not sure how things are going to turn out, but I’m hoping for the best. This week to keep things light. I wanted to share a couple of updates.

There is some news about Conspiracy-A New World (Book3). The draft cover art looks amazing. I couldn’t be more pleased with how it turned out, so I can’t wait for the cover art to be finalized, so I can share it with you. I think, and hope, you will love the cover as much as I do. My publisher and I are, hopefully, still on target for a late Summer release. Once I have more details, I will let you all know.

Over the July 4th Holiday, I was at BayCon 2022 (click here to find out more). This was my first time, and the conference was a blast. I got to meet and hang out with so many great people, and I managed to catch up with some old friends who I haven’t seen in a while. I even sat on my first panel with the wonderful folks over at HorrorAddicts.Net (click here to learn more). The four days were busy as I’m sure you can guess. While everyone else went off to their panels at the Con, I spent most of my time at the Liminal Fiction booth. For me, this event was all about networking and getting a feel for the convention, which I did. BayCon this year was a restart after the shutdown, so it wasn’t as busy as pre-pandemic, so hopefully next year the event will be even better. My plan is to get myself onto more panels and be a more active participant.

Here are a couple of photos from the event.

The Liminal Fiction booth in the Dealer Room

Horroradditcs.net Panel: Emz, Loren, R.L Merrill, Mark, M.D. Neu, and Laurel

Kim Fielding, CK Parker, M.D. Neu & J. Scott Coatsworth

M.D. Neu and R.L. Merrill sporting their hot pink outfits!

As you can see, we had a good time (can’t you see our smiling faces, LOL). Thanks to everyone who stopped by and said hello, an even bigger thank you to the folks who came and picked up some of my books. Well, that’s all for this week. Until next time, have a great week.

Events (What you didn’t know, you need to know)

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. Well, we’ve done it. We are back to attending local and distant events. It’s been wonderful to get out there and see people, make contacts, sign and sell books, and have fun. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been to a few local events with plans for more to come. Today, I wanted to talk about all the things authors need to know, when we plan for, and go to events. 

These are some fun pics from the events I’ve been at. 

As some of you may know, in my former life I did international and domestic events for a high-tech company. It was fun, but it’s a lot of work. So today I thought I would share what I’ve learned and forgotten about doing an in-person event. Keep in mind this is my experience, so what works for me may not work for you and your group. That said, look at all this information as suggestions and tips and tricks to help you out. 

Congratulations! You’ve decided to get back out there and go to a local book event, festival, book signing, etc. Here are some things to plan for and consider. 

Pre-Event: 

  • Create a Check List!!!!!!

  • Get yourself some business cards

  • Make a bookmark with all your social media info on it (you can use this as a free giveaway)

  • Depending on where you live and what you are doing, ensure you have a business license. This is important and easy to get from your local government. Also, depending on the city you are going to, you may need to get a seller’s permit for the day of the event. Some festivals will help you with this, but most don’t and it’s up to you to ensure you have everything you need in case the event management staff come by and ask you to show proof. It’s a pain in the butt, but a necessary evil. Luckily this doesn’t cost a lot, it’s more of a time suck.

  • Get yourself some bins or boxes to carry your books and all your stuff?

  • Get yourself a trolley or a cart so you can easily bring everything to your booth in one trip. Don’t have a cart get something like this (click here).

  • If you have a newsletter? Bring something so folks can sign-up to join.

  • When it comes to payments, people are leaning more towards Venmo and PayPal. Make sure you have QR Codes (you can get this from their apps, download the app if you haven’t already) for people so they can scan and pay you.

  • People use cash, so make sure you can make change.

  • Get yourself a cashbox or a flip binder to keep the cash in (or your pocket works too).

  • Keep your book pricing simple. Round up to the nearest dollar so you don’t have to fuss with change. Also, price your books to include tax so you don’t have to figure that out. For example, I sell my books at $15 and $20 and this price includes tax.

  • If you plan on taking credit cards, make sure you have everything you need to do that (Square works well and works with your cell phone, so it’s easy).

  • If you don’t have one, create an elevator pitch about your writing and your books. Here is an example of mine:

M.D. Neu is an award-winning Queer author of Sci-Fi, Urban Fantasy, and Paranormal stories who wants to tell epic tales that reflect our diverse world.

All stories are based on ‘What ifs’

All stories take place in the Bay Area

All stories have a diverse cast of characters

 Now for your Books:

  • Okay, so here’s the thing I’ve learned. You won’t have any idea what people will want to read, so if you are going to be there on your own, take all your books (5–10 of each depending on how many books you offer). If you have a book series, bring more of the first book in the series because folks will buy that (and maybe all the books in the series, but typically they will start with book one). Now also regarding your books, if you are going as part of a group, think about the others who will be there. You don’t want to be a space hog, so make sure you don’t make the group space all about you and your books. As authors, we need to support each other and help one another. A potential reader may not be interested in what you write, but they may really love something that the others in your group write, so talk them up. Because what goes around comes around and you’ll want them to do the same for you.

  • If you are going to a specific type of festival or conference, bring books that are in that genre, but bring some of your other works as well because people read more than one kind of book. 

Your Booth:

  • When displaying your books, invest in some book stands. Here is a link where you can find tons of different types get what fits your budget and will work for you. As part of the book display, invest in a tablecloth (or bring one from home) solid colors work best.

  • For each of your books, create a slip sheet that you can stick into the top of the book for folks to read (about a sentence or two), this way they don’t have to read the back cover if they don’t want to. This should be a teaser. Something to get them interested, but not bog them down. Here is an example of one of mine:

The world is changing quickly for Chris now that he’s part of the Immortal Community. The events of his past are finally behind him. But, true magic is gradually taking hold in the world and nothing in the Immortal community is what he thought. Now enemies must work together and longtime friends may not be trustworthy. Who is lurking in the shadows? What does this mean for witches, immortals, and humans?

  • Depending on the setup (if you are going to be outside) bring a canopy. Being out in the sun all day is rough and you’ll appreciate the shade. If you’re inside, a canopy can be a nice way to stand out.

  • If you have a banner or can get one, bring it, but you will also need twine or rope to hang it up (assuming that’s allowed).

  • A free-standing banner or sign is a nice marketing piece to have if it’s in your budget, but you don’t need one.

  • Swag. People love free stuff. You probably can’t bring candy or food (check with the event organizers) but buttons, pens, bookmarks, business cards, cards with a free download of your book, info cards about you and your books, you’ll be surprised what people will pick up and take away.

  • Clipboard. You want it to be easy for people to sign up for your newsletter.

  • Pens. Lots of pens (see the above about people taking stuff) It’s even better if your pens are branded.

  • If you plan on giving away anything or hold a contest, have a flyer with that information. You should put it into a plastic stand of its own so it doesn’t get messed up and people can easily see it.

Additional Items to make your long day better:

  • Wear comfortable shoes and clothes. You’re going to be on your feet 8–10 hours, so you want to be comfy.

  • Bring water and snacks. If you are there on your own, you’ll want to come prepared, even if you go with a group water and snacks are a big plus.

  • Bring a box, bag, or bin with these things; pens, pencils, tape, larger binder clips (to keep your table cloth from blowing away), paperclips, notepad, labels to price your books, extension cord (in case you can plug in for power), bandages, aspirin or Tylenol, markers, and any other small thing you think you may or may not need.

  • Smile and talk to people. This is hard, especially after a long day, but people won’t come up and talk to you if you aren’t engaging with them or smiling. Think about when you go to a store. Do you go up to clerks who aren’t smiling or look like they are too busy to ‘see’ you? You want to present as open and as welcoming persona as you can. Practice in the mirror. Trust me, it’ll help.

  • Be prepared to talk to media. Create a press kit for yourself on the off chance the media stops by and wants to chat. This does happen, so be prepared. Not sure what to put in a media kit check out this page here, this is what I have in mine.

  • We all want to sell all our books, but prepare yourself for the reality that you might not sell any books. This happens, which sucks, especially after all the money and effort you put into the event. Take a breath and remember you are doing this for the exposure.

  • Bring a charging rod or brick for your cell phone (especially if you are going to use your devise to take payments).

If you are going with a group of authors here are some things to keep in mind:

  • Try to set up shifts (2 – 3 hours) and have no more then 4 or 6 people in and around the booth at any one time. You don’t want it to look crowded. Sometimes having two people in the booth and two people outside the booth to talk to people works well.

  • Have an elevator pitch for each of the authors who are going to be in the booth so you have a cheat sheet for when you are talking to potential readers.

  • Break down all the books by genre and not by author (unless you want to) this way you can direct people to the genre they like to read and that way they can see all the book on offer.

  • Use your time outside the booth to go around and talk to other authors or vendors. Or go and get some food. Breaks are nice and it’s good to get away from the booth, if you can.

  • Don’t be selfish, you are there to as part of a team, put in the same amount of effort you want others to put in for you. If you need a break fine take it, if you don’t like talking to people, then see what else you can do to help. If you are there and only taking up space then consider doing your next event solo, because no one will want to do another event with you.

  • On the flipside, don’t make yourself a nuisance and don’t make the booth all about you. Step back and give others a chance to spotlight their work and talk to people. When you are in a group setting you all need to be there to support one another.

  • Most importantly come early and help set up, or if you can’t come early plan on staying late to help tear down and clean up. This really helps out.

This is not by any means a complete list of do’s and don’ts. What works for me may not work for you and all events are different. The above info is to help you think through all that goes into an event. They can be a lot of fun, but they are a lot of work (both before, during, and after) I hope this information helps, until next time, have a great week and Happy Pride 2022.

June 2022 Announcements

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. Can you believe it’s June 1st? I sure can’t. The beginning of June means we start the month of Pride, and we have so much to be proud of. However, given the state of the world today, there is still so much we need to be better at. So, let’s all promise each other we will do better. We will be better people. We will treat each other with dignity and respect. We will bring light to darkness. We will support each other and be there for each other. And most importantly, we will not, under any circumstances, let the bastards bring us down. 

As part of Pride month, I’m happy to share four of my author pals who all have new projects out this month, or coming soon. I cannot stress enough how amazing these novelists are and how, if you haven’t already done so, you need to pick up their books. I’ve enjoyed each these writer’s works and say to you, today, that these are some of the finest authors out there. Let’s begin, shall we? 

Author J.P. Jackson has a new book out; Cursed, it’s the second book in his Magus Malefica - The Coven Series. If you haven’t read book one, you’re missing out. The novel is wonderful and gives you all the background you need for book two. 

Blurb: 

Cam Habersham is having a hell of a time keeping up with his fae studies in the Ancestral Lands because a certain werewolf constantly interrupts his thoughts. Everton Lilch is the wolfen beast who follows Cam around, but he pushes Cam away every time things get steamy. 

The queen of the fae has had enough and tasks Cam with an impossible feat, an undertaking only Everton can help him accomplish. 

Without his coven, Sparks Gemmell is a lost witch. In desperation, he casts a spell, hoping to reunite his brothers. But he doesn’t count on the wayward route magic often takes. He finds himself wrapped up in a mandate of the horned god and inserted into his Shadow Brothers’ relationship in order to protect his city from the darkest elements of the Shadow Realm. 

As the darkness of the Shadow Realm descends, Cam and his werewolf, along with Sparks and his coven brothers, confront wraiths, mutant werewolves, and witch law enforcement. Chaos erupts in an effort to please queens and gods. 

After all, it comes down to the ley of the land. 

Read my review here. Get your copy here.


Next up, I’m please to share with you Kevin Klehr’s newest audiobook; Winter Masquerade. The narration is spectacular, as is the story. If you don’t have time to sit down and read, but need something to get you through your workout, then this is a must get. 

Pick up the audiobook here.


In the spotlight today is Glenn Quigley (artist and author extraordinaire). This is what Glenn has to say about his newest short story: 

I want to let people know that my first short story is coming soon from Ninestar Press. It’s also my first contemporary story (I usually write Historical Fantasy), so I’m very excited for people to read it. Excited and nervous. Mostly nervous. 

Use as Wallpaper, is a story about a reporter for a seldom-watched LGBTQ+ television channel who travels to the beautiful country of Georgia to film a piece about a polyphonic choir. The reporter’s name is Stuart, he’s just past forty, and recently single. When he arrives, he discovers that the choirmaster is a stocky, gruff, obstinate man named Otar. As the two butt heads, Stuart has to learn a little bit of the Georgian language, perform in front of a crowd with the polyphonic choir, and try to mend his broken heart. Stuart better not mess up this performance. 

Use as Wallpaper is a light-hearted romp filled with sunshine, performance anxiety, and hairy chests. 

It will be released in the coming weeks, so keep an eye on my socials for the exact date and the cover! Use as Wallpaper will be available from Amazon, the Ninestar Press website, and all the usual eBook outlets. 

Find out more about the book and Glenn here


And bringing up the rear is author Eric David Roman and his re-released novel Long Night at Lake Never

Blurb: 

Welcome to Camp Horizons, where they pray all day…and get slayed all night! 

Nestled against scenic Lake Never, recently outed Tyler Wills has arrived at the secluded conversion camp, where the delusional staff of counselors believes he and his fellow camper’s queer affliction can be healed solely through the power of prayer. 

After a full day spent rallying against sadistic deprogramming therapies, the deranged camp director, and planning his escape, Tyler discovers a larger problem—a mysterious stranger has rolled into camp with a grudge to settle and a very sharp axe. 

When night falls, the terror and body count rise. And Tyler, along with his fellow campers, find themselves trapped between a brutal, unrelenting killer and their holier-than-thou prey as they desperately search for a way to survive the Long Night at Lake Never. 

Find your copy here.

These four authors couldn’t be more different in genres and writing styles, which gives you a wonderful mix of talent and stories to read and enjoy. 


For me this month, I’ll be joining QSac at Davis Pride on June 12th, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be out and about again and meeting folks. If you are in the Davis, CA area, please come by and say hello. Learn more here. Also, this month I’m wrapping up edits on Conspiracy, A New World (Book 3) find out more here. And I have a teaser for the cover art for Volaria. Get your peek here. Both books will be out later this summer and early fall 2022. Also, as I write this, my biggest supporter and harshest critic is editing/reading my new short story; Two Years, that will, hopefully, be part of the Bay Area Queer Writers Association’s (BAQWA) 2022 anthology. Keep your fingers crossed. Once I learn more, I’ll be sure to let you know. 

And I’m thrilled to share the news that The Called (learn more here) was chosen as the 2021 Fantasy Runner up for the Gay Scribe Awards, check it out here. I’m so pleased with this novel and the series. Thank you to everyone for all your love and support.

Wow. There it is. There is so much happening right now for Pride, and for the summer, that I’m sure I missed something. Some food for thought before I sign off this week. If you want to support the Queer Community this Pride month, instead of buying from large companies that slap a rainbow on their products for the month, why not support queer artists and businesses, especially when everyone is struggling economically right now. Supporting a queer local artist or business (oh and look I have a merchandise page, how convenient is that, click here) mean a lot more than buying something from a big company with a rainbow sticker slapped on their merch. With that, I hope to see you at Davis, CA Pride on June 12th, but if not, until next time, have a great week and Happy Pride 2022.

Spectrum Books

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. It’s been another busy week for me. I hope you saw the photos, or better yet were able to come, and visit at the Bay Area Book Festival in Berkeley, CA this last weekend. The festival was amazing, and I was so thrilled to be with my wonderful author group from the Bay Area Queer Writers Association (learn more here). It was a blast; however, the event was a big eye opener on how important our voices are. We were the only queer book group at the whole event. And the book festival is one of the largest in the Bay Area. We need to work on our visibility and ensure all our voices are heard. So, if you have book events in your area, let them know you want to see queer representation at the event. Talk to your local book store about hosting a queer author reading. All our voices matter and deserve to be heard.

In that vein, I’m thrilled to have Andrew and Carl from Spectrum Books a new LGBTQ+ publisher (find them here) with me today to introduce us to Spectrum Books. Andrew and Carl are the Managing Directors of Spectrum Books, and if you missed the news, Spectrum Books signed me on and will be releasing Volaria in the Fall of 2022 (learn more here).

Welcome Andrew and Carl

Andrew May

Thanks for including us in your blog! We’re Andrew & Carl from Spectrum Books – an independent publisher solely focused on LGBTQ+ books. We’re based in London, but work with authors all over the world, from Las Vegas to London to Australia.

We started Spectrum almost exactly a year ago. Being authors ourselves, we felt very under-represented when it came to submitting our books to publishers. Most publishers we approached either wanted us to tone down any LGBTQ+ themes in our books, or rejected it completely, we believe, because of the content. Most publishers are primarily concerned with how many books they can sell. Which is fair enough, it is business, after all. However, they also believe that books with LGBTQ+ themes or characters are worth less to them because of a smaller readership. We want to change that at Spectrum Books! Our aims are for LGBTQ+ books to not only be read by those identifying as part of the community, but by those who don’t as well. We believe that if someone loves a good romance novel, for example, there’s no reason why they can’t enjoy a male/male romance as well. A crime thriller novel with a gay character is still a crime thriller novel!

Going from being authors to setting up Spectrum Books felt really quite natural. Andrew is primarily the graphics designer and marketing expert, and has worked in both roles professionally and as a hobby. Carl is the primary editor, having spent most of his adult life editing either freelance or for various publishers. We felt that we were perfectly positioned to join our skills together and help give LGBTQ+ books the representation and quality work that they deserve. The amount of work we’ve been doing since we started is gargantuan! From reading a huge amount of submissions to working on covers, to the near endless editing process, but we love doing it! We feel that authors are putting their trust in us with their manuscripts, and we’re very grateful for it. We both have very little time for writing anymore, but Spectrum Books has ignited a new passion in both of us.

Reflecting on our first year running Spectrum Books, the hardest part has to be turning down submissions. Over the last few months, we’ve been receiving a huge amount of submissions. Some publishers will accept more submissions than they’re capable of working with and their standards end up falling behind as a result. We want to do the best for each author that we sign – and that takes time. So, we have to be realistic about how many submissions we can accept. This does mean we have to turn people away, but we always try to offer advice on what they can do to be successful in the future, with another publisher, or with us if they re-submit in the future. Also, switching off can be hard! We don’t have any set working hours, primarily because there is literally a twenty-hour time difference between some of our authors!

Our favorite part of running a publishing company is the same for both of us. The joy that authors feel when the manuscript that they’ve worked so hard on for months or years is turned into a book – and when it’s physically in their hands – is a feeling that cannot be experienced in any other way. We’ve been in this same situation, finally getting to touch, to read, to flick through, to gaze at lovingly whilst it’s sat on your bookshelf. We’ve been lucky enough to have signed eleven authors in our first year, and we’ve worked as hard as we can to provide this feeling to each one of them. Also, it has been and continues to be a pleasure to work with such a wonderful, diverse group of authors. We’ve got people from different countries, backgrounds and cultures who identify across the LGBTQ+ spectrum. We can’t be successful without the success of our authors, so we’re thrilled they’ve chosen us to share their journey with them.

We’ve been primarily finding the authors who work with us through social media and word of mouth. It’s been wonderful to have heard such great feedback from our authors so far – to have them recommend us to their author friends is a wonderful thing. I think it’s one of the best measures that we’re doing everything we can to provide the best possible experience for our authors. We’re always happy to hear from anyone who is looking to publish their LGBTQ+ book. We’ve been in your shoes and welcome the opportunity to offer advice whenever we can.

Thanks again for having us, M.D.. If anyone wants to find out more about Spectrum Books, you can find us on our website here. www.spectrum-books.com, or on Instagram here. @spectrumbookpublisher. We’d love to hear from you!

There you go. Thank you, Andrew and Carl, for stopping by today to share a little about you and Spectrum Books. I’m thrilled to be part of this new publishing house, and I’m excited to watch it grow. That’s it for this week. Don’t forget to check out my events calendar (here) as I’m adding new in-person events all the time. You never know when I’ll be in your neck of the woods. Until next time, have a great week.

eBook Short Story Giveaway - LandsEnd

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. This week I have a special offer for all my Scribblers (if you are reading this, that would mean you). I’m thrilled to offer each one of you a free eBook copy of my short story LandsEnd. The story was featured in the Bay Area Queer Writers Association anthology; BAQWA Presents: Horror Show 2021. Since the original publication, I’ve worked on the story, added to it, and in general cleaned it up a bit more. I couldn’t be more pleased with how this short story turned out, and now I can offer the novella to you, for free!

What’s the catch you might ask? Well, in order to qualify to get a free copy you have to follow me on BookBub (click here). That’s it. Anyone new who follows me on BookBub will receive this short story eBook, absolutely free. In order for me to know that you are a new member and found out about this offer by reading my blog, once you follow me, send me an email message (info@mdneu.com) letting me know. Once I verify you are following me, I’ll email you your free copy of LandsEnd.

Story Blurb:

Prom Night. The last hurrah before college. Brandon and Ed are the chaperons for the LandsEnd High School Senior Prom, hosted at the LandsEnd Yacht Club. Its a night of dreams until the ground shakes and flashes of light brighten the sky, knocking out everything electrical, casting the dance into darkness. Cut off and alone, the adults and the students have to figure out what to do and what’s happening. Worryingly, what’s that strange clicking sound off in the distance that seemed to scare off the animals?

***

This is a short one this week. Remember to follow me on BookBub to get your free eBook copy of LandsEnd. Well, that’s it. Until next time, have a great week.

Writing Update – March 2022

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I hope you are all doing well. As you may have noticed, I took last week off from my blog. I was dealing with some medical issues. Nothing to worry about, and everything all worked out. Which has been a big relief. I’m happy to say I’m not going anywhere anytime soon!

This week I wanted to provide a quick update for you. Regarding my writing, I’m still moving forward with Conspiracy-A New World (Book 3). However, there has been a delay with my publisher. I’m hopeful this will not slow down the long-delayed release of the book, but I can’t say for sure. In audiobook news. Contact-A New World (Book 1) is about finished and I’m thrilled with how well Steve Connor (find him here) has done with the story. Steve really has narrated the heck out of the novel and brought my words to life. I can’t wait for you all to hear it. Along those lines, once Steve finishes with Contact, he will move on to Conviction (find both books here for signed copies and here for all other editions). I’ll keep you posted on when the audiobooks are available.

Also, on the writing front, I’m about ready to send off Volaria. I have another round of edits I want to make and then I’ll be shopping the story around to see if I can get any bites. Wish me luck.

Lastly, and I couldn’t be more pleased to share; I have in-person event news. With the restrictions being lifted and more and more events coming back. I’m happy to share some of the following in-person events I have planned:

April 2022

Hayward Lit Hop—(April 30th, 4pm) Books on B, 1014 B St, Hayward, CA 94541


May 2022

The Bay Area Book Festival 2022—(May 7th and 8th) Berkley, CA

BeastCrawl—(May 28th) Oakland, CA


June 2022

Davis Pride—(June 12th) Davis Central Park, 401 C Street, Davis, CA 95616

 

I want to say nothing will change, but you never know. So, stay tuned.

That’s it for this week. Remember to check out my events page (find it here), now that more local events are coming online, I’ll be adding more and more events. So, you don’t want to miss out. Until next time, have a great week.

Creating Audiobooks – Why and How?

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. Over the last two years, I’ve taken one of my novels, T.A.D.-The Angel of Death, and two of my short stories, The Reunion and A Dragon for Christmas and had them converted into audiobooks (find them here). Typically, in larger publishing houses, this is something they will work with you on. Even my publisher NineStar Press will assist authors with turning their books into audiobooks. However, for many reasons, I went through the process alone and working through ACX I’ve launched three of my stories with three more in the works, all to be released this year. Today I thought I would share the ‘why’ and the ‘how’ as to creating these audiobooks on my own.

The ‘why’ has multiple layers, but the crucial factors to me taking on the process on my own, came down to three things; economics, timing, and choices. From the economic standpoint, if I were to have gone through NineStar Press to have my audiobooks created, there would be another party to split the already minimal royalties with: ACX, the narrator, NineStar Press, and me. That isn’t bad if you are selling thousands or tens of thousands of audiobooks. However, since my books and now my audiobooks don’t sell in those numbers yet, what I would have lost in royalties didn’t seem to make financial sense.

The next reason for me producing the audiobooks on my own is because of timing. As I’ve learned, working with a publishing house, books and audiobooks (and translations), takes time. A lot of time. And I wanted to see if I could speed up the process by publishing my audiobooks on my own. At first, I wasn’t planning on releasing my books on my own and I worked with my publisher to release them. However, because of many factors, the process dragged on and on. At first, I wasn’t getting any auditions (this took about three months) then we tried again and still no auditions (another three months). Finally, I found a narrator who would produce/narrate my story (The Calling), however there were issues. Leading to my third reason for producing my audiobooks on my own; Choice.

After searching for a year to find a voice actor to produce/narrate my first book The Calling, I found a talented, wonderful person to voice the story, however, because he couldn’t work under a Royalty Share contract (more on that later) so I couldn’t use him, if I went through NineStar Press. Disappointing for sure, as he was the only person to show any interest in doing the project. I ended up asking my publisher if I could produce the audiobooks on my own so I could use this talented person. They said yes. I took back my rights for my audiobook production and went to work on getting these audiobooks out there.

Hold up!

Stop the Presses!

Where is The Calling, you’re asking? We don’t see it as published yet, and you’ve been talking about this audiobook for what seems like years? Yes, that is correct, The Calling has taken a long time, this is for a variety of reason; first it sat waiting for auditions (about a year) and now it’s been sitting in production for a year. The reason for the delay in The Calling’s release is complicated, but the root causes have been the pandemic and other medical issues (all out of my control).

Now let’s jump over to the ‘how’. Creating an audiobook seemed, at least to me, to be a simple process. One, you find a narrator. Two, the narrator creates the audiobook. Three, you review the audiobook. Four, you launch the audiobook. Five, you collect the royalties. That isn’t quite correct. It’s not far off, but there are a lot of other steps involved.

When I started the process with The Calling using ACX (find out more here) I had the producer/narrator I wanted, which was a big help. Still, I had to figure out the basics of how to navigate ACX and what the steps were. Now, keep in mind there are other options to produce audiobooks Findaway Voices is another option (learn more here) but for me I went with ACX because they release the audiobooks on Audible, Amazon, and iTunes, which is where a majority of people get their audiobooks, plus the cost were minimal. Now, with ACX, there are four different options for production/narration of an audiobook; Pay for Production, you pay the producer/narrator for their work and you own everything once they deliver the product and you pay them (this is a costly way to go some producers charge anywhere from $200-$400[or more] per finished hour, a book that is five longs would cost you $1000-$2000 as an example, but you earn 40% of the royalties and you don’t have to share that 40% with anyone); Royalty Share Plus, you pay the producer/narrator a certain amount per finished hour and then you split the royalties (this isn’t as costly but can still be expensive say you produce a five-hour audiobook at between $100-$200 per finished hour, that five-hour book would cost you $500-$1000, however you split the royalty 20% for you and 20% for the narrator/producer); next you have Royalty Share, you pay the producer/narrator nothing up front, however you split the royalties 20% for you and 20% for them. Last, you can narrator the book yourself. You provide the audio files to ACX and you will earn the 40% royalties.

You will also need to pick whether you want to be exclusive through ACX or go wide. This will affect your royalties (typically taking them from 40% to 25% for non-exclusive, but the hope is you will sell more to make up the difference).

Okay, that was a lot, I know, but it gives you an idea of the choices you have with ACX for the production cost. For me I’ve gone two routs; I did the Royalty Share Plus (for The Calling) and I’ve done Royalty Share for T.A.D.-The Angel of Death, The Reunion, and A Dragon for Christmas.

Each of the options have their pros and cons, mainly your selection of producers/narrators. The more you pay, the more options you have in selecting a producer/narrator. I believe this held up finding a producer/narrator for The Calling, NineStar Press will only do Royalty Share, so the first two options weren’t available for me.

Once you decide on how you are going to compensate your producer/narrator, you then ensure you have the rights to create the audiobook by claiming the title in ACX. If all goes well, this should be easy. However, for me I had to contact NineStar Press and have them release the books so I could claim them under my pen name.

After you claim your books, you can post your book so it becomes available for producers/narrators to view in ACX search results. This is when the fun begins, because this is when you can select what kind of person you are looking for to produce/narrate your book. There are a lot of options.

Regarding The Calling, I wanted a younger male in his early thirties. For T.A.D.-The Angel of Death, I needed a male voice actor who could sound youngish and oldish as the story crosses a lifetime. With The Reunion, I wanted a man who could sound over the top flamboyant and serious. For A Dragon for Christmas, I needed a Latinx woman who could voice a young girl and end up as a young woman. Then, with Contact-A New World Book One, I needed an actor who had a vast range in vocals who could make three unique characters come to life and give a large group of supporting characters a set of unique voices.

After you go through these first steps, you then need to upload a script for the producer/narrator to read from. This can be the first chapter of your book, but if you have multiple point-of-view characters, create something so you can hear what the actor does with your characters. I did this for Contact-A New World Book One. I pulled a chapter from near the end of the book where all three of my point-of-view characters share a scene for the actor to audition from.

Once you post the script (and any additional details about the story for the actor to help them with the narration) you wait. This is also the place where you share with the producer/narrator how you plan to market the audiobook. This information helps you find the right person and hopefully someone who will also help market the finished product.

Auditions may take time to arrive, but you can speed this process along by going searching for ACX producers/narrators and sending them a message (assuming you like their samples) to audition for you. With the auditions you receive, you decide who you want. For me, this was pretty easy. I had specific voices in mind for my characters, so I waited to find the right voice (or a voice close to what I imaged) and went from there.

With your narrator selected you make them an offer (this is all the contract information that I’m not going over), but this is where you both sign your life’s away (or at least seven years, depending on which type of production you chose, i.e. Pay for Production, Royalty Share Plus, Royalty Share, or Do It Yourself). This is also where you agree on the timeline for the audiobook.

After the contracts are agreed on, this is when you upload the story and create your chapters and sections (if you are lucky ACX can typically pull this information from the book posted on Amazon). All you’ll have to do is verify the information is correct and maybe add or delete something that is wrong or missing.

Part of the contract includes a 15-minute sample, which gives you the option to see if the producer/narrator and you agree on the performance and you like what they are doing. This is also the time when you and actor work out all the kinks in character development. I found this fun. I spent a lot of time with my narrators on the characters and the story.

Chapter reviews come next. After each chapter is uploaded by the producer/narrator, you get to review the section, ensure the work sounds good, and there are no mistakes. This is a step you do not want to skip, as I’ve found several minor mistakes not only in the narration but in the writing. Now is the time they get fixed, so the story, when being told, sounds good. This also gives you and the actor a chance to hammer out character moments and voice nuances.

Are you still with me?

We’re almost finished.

Once all the chapters are loaded, do another review of the whole audiobook to ensure it sounds the way you want and flows smoothly from chapter to chapter. This is also the time to upload your cover art. You can do this at anytime once the audiobook is under contract, so the sooner the better, because ACX has to approve the cover design. Here I made the choice to go with my current covers (to keep the branding the same) which means I needed to pay NineStar Press for the updated audiobook covers (sadly you can’t use the same format cover you already have for your eBook or paperback, plus you need to include the narrator’s name, so for me having NineStar Press do this made sense) the cost was minimal and, for me, worth it.

As you roll to the finish line, if you haven’t been already thinking about the audiobook launch, you need to. Once you and the producer/narrator complete the audio files and once you pay the producer/narrator (assuming you did Pay for Production or Royalty Share Plus) the audiobook goes to final review by ACX. This can take up to a month (or so they say). Unfortunately, you don’t get a heads up when the audiobook is released, they will send you an email letting you know the book is now live this makes planning the launch a challenge, but what I did was contact some different marketing folks and set up launches after the fact, which worked out pretty well. I also contracted several reviewers. ACX gives you promo codes you can share with reviewers, which is helpful. You get 50 promo codes (both US and UK) per title and you can get more once you sell a certain number of audiobooks.

Here are a couple of places you can get audiobook reviews, but read their policy and procedures carefully:

Free Audiobook Codes: https://freeaudiobookcodes.com/

AudioFile: https://audiofilemagazine.com/contact/

Audiobook Reviewer.com: https://www.audiobookreviewer.com/abr-services/expedited-revew-lk74b

The Audiobook Blog: https://theaudiobookblog.com/contact/

Dab of Darkness Book Reviews: https://dabofdarkness.com/about/

Audiobook Promos – For Authors & Readers of All Genres: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1014732691885069

Now that you have the audiobook finished, launched and out there, finally you get to sit back and collect the royalties. Assuming the audiobook sells, which means you need to keep up the marketing.

I hope this information helps with any questions you may have about the audiobook process. Keep in mind this isn’t everything and there are a lot more details that I didn’t dive deeper in. Overall the process, for me, has been positive and pretty cost affective. That’s it for this week. Until next time have a wonderful week.

Banning Books in 2022?

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. In case you missed it, the month is February, and the year is 2022 and yet here we are talking about banning books in libraries and schools. What the actual heck are we doing?! Are we sure this isn’t 1822 or 1922? I understand that not all books are for everyone. I understand that we all like and enjoy reading different things. Believe it or not, there are books I don’t like. There are books I had to read that I didn’t enjoy. There are books I run across today wondering how these works of literature ever made into print. But never, and I mean ever, have I thought we should ban a book. Never! That is insane.

You want to control a population start by controlling the media. Guess what folks; books are media. And I’m not pointing a finger at one party or another. Banning Books happens on both sides of the cultural divide. People are going to say and do things we don’t like. We don’t have to agree with them and we sure don’t have to like them. However, it’s not up to us to squash them and destroy them. It’s up to us to educate them and ourselves. Listen to their concerns and fears and try, as hard as it may be, to understand them. We do not give them a pass and we sure don’t let them ban books or censor our media. Look into history and see how well that has worked out for everyone in the past.

A quote from Stephen King sums up my thoughts on the entire Book Banning perfectly:

When books are run out-of-school classrooms and libraries. I’m never much disturbed. Not as a citizen, not as a writer, not even as a schoolteacher… which I used to be.

What I tell kids is, don’t get mad, get even.

Don’t spend time waving signs or carrying petitions around the neighborhood. Instead, run, don’t walk, to the nearest non-school library or the local bookstore and get whatever it was that they banned.

Read whatever they’re trying to keep out of your eyes and your brain, because that’ exactly what you need to know.

I think what Stephen King says sums it all up perfectly, and I’m thrilled to see Maus on the New York Time’s Best-Selling list, because that shows we are voting with our wallets and sending a loud message to those who want and support censorship, aka Banning Books.

In short, don’t let them control you. Don’t get angry or protest, do what Stephen King suggests, go out, buy the book and read it, see if you agree or disagree, but the choice of what you like or don’t like should and always be with you. The Reader.

Until next time, have a great week.

Writing Process and How Writing Works… For me Now.

Happy Wednesday Scribblers, I hope you are having a pleasant week. Over the last several weeks, I’ve been working on several writing related projects. I’ve been doing auditions for my next audiobook. I’ve been listening to a current audiobook in production. I’ve been writing a couple of different articles that have been requested of me from some different online sites. I’ve been working with my author groups on planning some events for 2022. I’ve been finalizing some new promotional pieces. And the list goes on.

It’s an odd thing when you are working on unique items and see how your time splits between them, and it got me thinking about how things were at the start.

When I first started writing, I had the luxury of sitting back and working on a single story at a time. Once that one was finished, I would move on to the next one, while I put the first story through my writing group for critics and comments. That wasn’t quite how it always worked out. Sometimes I worked on a couple of manuscripts at once, but mostly, I worked on one story at a time. Now… that’s not how things work.

As an author, now with five books, two short-stories, three audiobooks, and two anthologies out, my writing time seems to drip away. Because you have to focus on addition writing related tasks. You have to work on editing. You have to work on marketing and PR. You have to work on getting your books turned into audiobooks (which I have four, five and six on the way). You have to engage with readers, plan reading events, work with other authors to grow your community. The list goes on. Everything I mentioned in one way or the other affects my writing process. Where I could once sit down and write a couple of chapters a week. I’m lucky if I get a chapter in a week. Sometimes it takes me a couple of weeks or even a month to get a chapter finished.

I’m not complaining and I love working on my author business and brand, but I miss the days of having characters come forward and say hello and start telling me their stories. It still happens, just not as much.

Additionally, and much to my dismay, I haven’t been adding general characters to my trunk of characters for future stories, which is a shame because I love that process. If you don’t understand what I mean. There was a time when I could sit down and write general characters bios and save them for later use. When I would need a character for a story, I could go to my ‘trunk’ and pull one out for use. It was a great way to have characters ready to go when I need them.

I still have characters packed away, but not near as many as I once had, and I haven’t added any in years.

These days, I have to schedule my writing times. I have to sit down with purpose and focus… okay, who am I kidding? I still get up in the middle of the night to write. Or I’ll get up early on the weekends and pump out a few thousand words. Then sometimes all I want to do is sit and work on my writing and my current story, letting everything else fall to side.

I love these days.

In the end. I still have novels coming out. I still manage to create and write whenever I have a free moment. And my characters still come and talk to me and tell me their tales. These characters of mine continue to even play nice when they aren’t getting the attention they deserve.

I think they understand better than I do. And they are a lot more forgiving than I am as well.

Overall, my writing process has both grown and changed over the years. Do I long for how simple things were at the start. Sure. That was a time of writing innocence for me. Now I’ve grown… dare I say matured, as has my writing and my author life. Perhaps someday, when I have a catalog of books out there as long as my arm, I’ll be able to pass on some of these more mundane tasks to an assistant or marketing professional and focus solely on my writing and creating new worlds for people to visit. That would be lovely. However, until that time, as I grow and move forward, so does my writing process and how it all works itself out. I guess it all a matter of juggling, where once it was only two balls, I seem to now have five or six. Who knew I could juggle?

Until next time, have a great week.

How and When did you know?

Happy Wednesday Scribblers. A few years back I wrote this article about my coming out and how that has affected my writing. Today, after so many years, I thought I would revisit the post and see if there is anything I want to add or change, because as we all know, time has a way of changing our perspective on life. Especially with how my journey has influenced my writing.

People ask and are curious about my coming out. I get this question a lot from my straight co-workers and friends. The query is kind of funny because if you flip the question ‘when did you know you were straight?’ it’s silly. Anyway, I don’t mind sharing my story, so here it is.

As a kid, I always understood I was different, at least on some level.

I grew up in the 80s, so yep, I’m old. Anyway, I never gave much thought to my sexual feelings or identity in middle school. Sure, I was ‘sensitive’, but I had a wonderful group of ‘nerd’ and ‘stoner’ friends, so I never suffered from any personal angst. I never understood what the big deal about girls was. Sure, they were pretty, and some were friends, but I wasn’t interested in kissing them or anything like that. I never was ‘girl crazy’ and found that I enjoyed their company and we had fun together, but I wasn’t interested in anything else. Friendship was fine with me.

Where there any girls that liked me. Maybe. I suppose there were a few girls who liked me, but honestly, I had no clue.

I wasn’t supper popular in school, but I wasn’t an outcast either. If I had to describe my school experience; you know, in the movies, you see all the kids in the background that are there and appear to be having a good time and aren’t the center of attention. That would have been me. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time in school, so it wasn’t bad and I have some great friends who I’m still in contact with today (thank you, social media).

Anyway, I didn’t really deal with my sexual identity until my later teens and early twenties. I had a few girlfriends and even was engaged to be married, but something didn’t seem right. Again, I didn’t really know, clueless as I was, what the ‘it’ was. I found guys so much more attractive than girls, but I still thought I was ‘normal’.

Once, my engagement fell apart (her doing and not mine) that was when everything crashed in around me. I realized I had all these fake walls and barriers up. For the first time, I had to take an honest look in the mirror and accept that I spent my younger years in deep denial. At one point, I even remember my sister Dawn and I talking. She told me she thought I was homophobic, not mean or cruel or anything like that, just not as friendly or as open-minded as she thought I would be. Thinking about it now, I guess I was trying to hide who I was and didn’t want to come across as ‘gay’, which of course is stupid, because I was in fact gay. Live and learn, I guess.

As I got older, I remembered I had major crushes on guys and I denied it… hid it. I had even fooled around with a few friends, but again, these experiences were all pushed behind these walls I created, and this life I wanted to live—I needed to live in. For me, this pressure wasn’t so much from an outside source, but internal ones. No one told me to be one way or the other. Those rules and thoughts all came from me. Anyway, when all the walls crashed down, I fell to pieces. It wasn’t until I thought about killing myself that I figured something needed to change. I couldn’t be like this anymore. I had to pull myself together if I were to have a happy and healthy life.

No one realized I was going through any of this because, by my early twenties, I was amazing at hiding my drama.

I found a therapist and spent about a year going to treatment once a week. She helped me face who I was and where I needed to be. After therapy, I could come out to everyone. Keep in mind this was in the early 90s, so AIDS was still a big thing and society wasn’t nearly as open and welcoming as now. First, my friends. Then my sister. And finally, my parents.

I was lucky, very lucky, because I was my own worst enemy. Everyone in my life supported me and was there for me. And those that weren’t quickly dropped from my life. I was the hurdle. I was the one that created all my problems. I tried to make myself fit into this perfect image I had in my head.

The journey wasn’t always easy. I lost a couple of friends, made friends with some of the wrong people, and I even lost a job because of who I was, but I never blamed them, I knew I was better without them and bigger and better things were waiting for me.

I guess what this journey boils down to, for me, is that I always realized I was gay. I always understood, but I wasn’t willing to face it. Still, I never blamed society or anyone (as I said my family and friends were way more accepting than I was) and I don’t judge it as a failing of the time I grew up in, it was more what I was willing to accept. Maybe, if there were more positive gay male figures when I grew up things would have been different, I honestly don’t know, but like I said for me, it wasn’t so much the outside influences, but my internal thoughts that caused me the most trouble.

Part of what I write is to provide positive LGBTQ characters with a voice because I do agree we need more of them. My goal is to show them without this ‘queer struggle’ I want my characters to face other issues. That doesn’t mean they live in a world filled with sunshine and rainbows. They have a past, as we all do, that affects them and their lives. All my characters carry a little of me in them and their internal journey may differ from mine, but if you look into them deep enough, you will see my journey there as well. Telling honest stories with believable, imperfect queer characters is my goal. The LBGTQ thing is a part of them and not the focus. My opinion is that the more people/society can see us, all of us, and relate to us on a non-sexual identity level, the better.

I share this because people ask about my ‘gay struggle’ and how it affects my writing. My experience is unique to me and this personal journey is different for everyone. As I say, I was lucky.

There you have it, my coming out journey and how it affects my writing. I hope you got something helpful from this. Until next time, have a great week.